Tag Archives: Mommy and Me

Life’s Not So Dark with the Colorfulness of Children

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Even though babies are not born knowing how to see, then only in black, white and gray before eventually seeing in color months later, it’s amazing how they add so much color to the darkest of lives and moments. This occurred to me as I watched my daughter use her rainbow scratch and sketch book we purchased as the Franklin Institute last week. What I love about the book is that it’s not just black pages with rainbow colors underneath, but it gives suggestions and inspirational ideas to bring forth the color.

As a child and even as a young adult, there’s been times when I’ve been swallowed up by darkness, felt depressed, lonely and struggled to find the “color” or rainbow. But now, I try to focus on knowing that the color is always there if I scratch deep enough below the surface.

It also doesn’t hurt that the colorfulness of my little girl fills me with joy and hope whenever I find myself headed towards a dark place. It’s so easy to focus on the darkness coming from people, places and circumstances. But as my six year old told me, “Isn’t it so cool that underneath the black there’s all of these beautiful colors!”

All the best,

Tanya

The Beautiful, Fun Nature of Children Exploring

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“I just love nature! Don’t you, mommy? What do you think we’ll see?” my daughter asked when she found out we were going on a nature hike with our cousins. “Did you ever go on nature hikes when you were younger, Mommy?” Quinn asked. “Yes, I did, and I really enjoyed them,” I told her. “Now, you get to go on a nature hike with me as an adult. Isn’t that cool?”

Even though Quinn and I regularly go for walks, it’s been quite some time since we explored nature together surrounded by thousands of trees, so this was a real treat for us both. We met up with our cousins at the Wissahickon Valley Park Trail in Philadelphia at Bells Mill entrance, and my six year old and her five year old were eager to get hiking. There were no iPads, tablets or technology to stimulate them, yet they were both intrigued by just about everything from the rocks, to the streams, to the trees to the insects, to the animals to the actual leaves on the trees.

It didn’t take long for the girls to want to take a back trail climbing over fallen trees and mountainous rocks. My cousin and I were impressed with how well they did. They were mindful of their surroundings wanting to stop frequently to take in the sights. Both Quinn and Ellie walked carefully so they wouldn’t lose their footing and were very brave when we came across steep, narrow and rocky areas on the path.

They had fun simply playing with sticks, racing to catch up with me and interacting with the butterflies, chipmunks and worms too. One of the highlights was feeding the geese bread. Though the birds eventually became a bit aggressive in pursuit of more bread, the girls were absolutely tickled and ran off squealing as they were chased by the geese. “That was fun and gave us exercise too,” Quinn said.

As we headed back to our cars after three hours of walking and exploring, Quinn asked, “Mommy, do you think we can come back here again to explore? Maybe next time with Daddy?” To which I responded, “Definitely!” I can’t wait to go on the next hike with Quinn. This will certainly be one of our go-to activities together.

All the best,

Tanya

My Heart Danced to the Rhythm for My Little Girl! A Lesson in Stepping Out of My Comfort Zone with Persistence, Confidence & Positivity

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“Are you excited about the dance recital, Mommy?” my six year old asked. To which I replied,  “Yes, I’m excited but a little nervous. How about you?” Quinn said, “I’m a little nervous and excited too!” In September, I enrolled my daughter in a local dance school for tap and jazz, and for months, they’ve been preparing for the dance recital which was just held this past Friday and Saturday.

About a couple of months ago, a notice was sent out recruiting moms to do a dance routine as a part of the recital.  As soon as I mentioned it to Quinn, her eyes lit up, and her smile widened. “Mommy, can you please do the mom dance? That would be so cool if we both were in the show!” Initially, I was excited because the song selection was “Rhythm Nation” by Janet Jackson, and the wheels were already turning with how I’d put together my outfit. But when I realized that there’d only be five rehearsals to learn the choreography, (a modified yet still involved version from the video) the anxiety set in big time.

Even though I loved being on the stage many moons ago rapping and doing spoken word,  I was extremely nervous. As a child, I was rhythmically challenged and lacked confidence. I’ve gotten a little better as an adult, but I still consider dancing to be out of my element and not my strong suit. But, I’m proud to say that I did not allow my nervousness to overwhelm me causing  me to bail out of the dance number.

It actually was an experience full of lessons, some old and some new, allowing me to grow as an adult. Even if I do not believe I am the “best” dancer,  I still gave it my all and remained confident on stage even if there was a missed step or two in the routine. Believe me, this was tough for me with my type A personality constantly critiquing my practice performances, but I, for the most part, remained positive and did have a lot of fun.

It felt good teaching by example and making a conscious effort to live by the lessons I try my best to instill in Quinn. What made it even more rewarding was seeing my little girl step out onto the stage full of confidence with a smile on her face.  I hope that as she rewatches my performance in the years to come that she will not just watch me dance with the group of moms but will actually listen to the lyrics of the song, “Rhythm Nation” as they still apply today and still will for many years to come.

“People of the world today
Are we looking for a better way of life
We are a part of the rhythm nation
People of the world unite
Strength in numbers we can get it right
One time
We are a part of the rhythm nation”

All the best,

Tanya

Red, White & Blue: Mommy’s Little Girl’s a Sparkler Too!

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“Ooh, it’s sparkling all over, Mommy!” my six year old  said while the sparkler illuminated as she held the end of its stem. This Memorial Day weekend, we had an intimate family cookout to not only remember the fallen soldiers but to celebrate my husband’s birthday too. As my daughter eagerly put on her red, white and blue romper and was ready to spend time with her family, I knew it was going to be a fun time.

As the day went on, I pulled out the sparklers I purchased. These are one of my favorite little fireworks from childhood. Though it may not cause much stimulation for adults, I knew the kids would enjoy them.

When I attempted to light the first sparkler, the wind picked up each time making it more difficult to get a spark. So we had to find a corner to shield the wind and find the right angle to light the sparkler. Even with trying to get the “right” angle, it took a little time. But once we developed a technique and realized that we couldn’t just hold the flame at the tip but had to slowly move it up in down from the tip a few centimeters, we finally go the sparkler ignited. After getting the first one, the others were much easier to do.

My daughter was so patient throughout this process. Yet at first, she was a little nervous about holding the sparkler. But once she did, she held the sparkler confidently and asked, “Can I do another one, please?!” Lighting the sparklers made me think about how much of a sparkler my little girl is. She truly illuminates my world. When her eyes light up about something that sparks interests within her, it fills me with hope and reignites some sparks in me that I thought fizzled years ago.

A sparkler may last just a minute or two, but the fun and experience from holding and waving them, for me, lasted well into adulthood. It is my hope that the passion and hope my daughter currently has will last a lifetime keeping her filled up and determined to leave her spark on the world.

All the best,

Tanya

It’s My Mommyversary! Six Wonderful Years of Motherhood

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In 2013, just a week after giving birth to my little girl, I celebrated being a mother for the first time. Now, six years and hundreds of blog posts later, I have many baby steps behind me yet many more to go! Being a mother is such a rewarding experience, and my daughter has played a significant role in helping me to grow not just as a mother but as a person. I truly am lucky to have my own mother available to share advice and words of wisdom and to have a thoughtful and caring daughter who both make the challenging journey of motherhood an absolute joy.

Here’s to all of the mothers everywhere! May your baby steps into motherhood turn into bountiful leaps and jumps of joy filled with wonderful memories.

All the best,

Tanya

Six Wonderful Years: Celebrating My Little Girl’s Birthday!

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Six is a nice, even, perfect number and symbolizes beauty and ideals. Today, it’s also how many years my little girl has been on this Earth! Quinn is such a sweet, caring, thoughtful and confident person. Of course, one may think I’m saying this as her mother, but in her short six years of life, she truly has made a positive impact on so many lives of children as well as adults.

Interestingly, six also represents completeness, and I truly didn’t realize how much my life was missing until she became a part of it! I am so grateful and happy to celebrate her special day and want to make sure that she always knows how much I love her not just today but everyday.

All the best,

Tanya

The Fear of Picturing Lost Moments with My Little Girl

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img_0790-1“For how much longer will you be working on your class work, Mommy?” my five year old asked with a sense of urgency in her voice. This past Wednesday was a snow day for the both of us: no school! But that did not mean the work stopped for me. I had to send out an early morning email letting my students know how to proceed and started working on modifying the course syllabus as a result of losing a day of class. I also had to still work on reading and grading essays. It pained me that it couldn’t just be a “snow day” for my daughter and I to have some fun, and I had to explain to her that work sometimes still goes on, and work has to come before fun.

Though this was just one day, I am finding more and more that I am telling Quinn, “I need to do work first, and sometimes it takes much longer than I anticipate. She seems to understand, but there are times when I just feel guilty. Yes, we have fun together and do many activities that I even talk about on this blog. Yes, I know it cannot be all about having fun all of the time. My daughter knows this too. But when she looks at me with those brown eyes simply wanting my undivided attention and to spend time with me, I feel horrible wishing that I could just drop everything and enjoy everyday moments with her.

There are so many more years to go in her childhood, and I do fear the idea of picturing lost moments that I will never be able to get back. I don’t want to get in the habit of saying, “We’ll see. Maybe this weekend. Or give me twenty minutes that turns into sixty minutes or turns into maybe tomorrow.” Being a present mom, in general, is not easy, definitely while working full-time, but I’m going to continue to try my best to perform the balancing act and create as many memorable moments as possible with my little girl that we can both close our eyes and picture for years to come.

All the best,

Tanya

One Sweet Girl, One Cool Cat, One Fun Dad & One Loving Mom Trying to Find Her Place

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For Christmas, we welcomed a new member into our family, Tori the cat! My five year old has been wanting a pet for a while and settled on a six month old rescue kitten  to shower with love. My husband just went along with the plan even though he was apprehensive about getting a pet since he still holds on to the memory of his pert cockatiel who he had for decades that passed away, while I excitedly went out to purchase all of the necessities for Tori’s arrival.

Actually, Tori arrived just a day after Quinn was came home after being hospitalized for nearly a week with bacterial pneumonia and the adenovirus. So we tended to her until Quinn was feeling much better and up for some cuddle time.

I imagined building a bond with Tori along with Quinn. Unfortunately, that’s not the way it went. Tori immediately bonded with my daughter but had limited interest in me. But for some reason, she absolutely adores my husband. Months later, she follows him around the house, wants to play and snuggle with him, and tends to avoid me whenever possible.

Sadly, it is bringing back those torn feelings I once had when I saw the special daddy and daughter bond Quinn and my husband have. Of course, we are close, which I am grateful for, but daddy can do no wrong. Now, the pattern continues with Tori. She plays games with my daughter and husband and is so sweet with them while I try to when her over day after day.

Interestingly, my five year old has been consoling me and has suggested that I keep trying. She’s convinced that Tori will eventually come around and want to be with me just as much as she enjoys being with Quinn and my husband. Her kind words and optimism gives me hope. I’m so grateful to have such a sweet girl and am glad that she is able to bond with Tori even if it’s going to take a little time for me to bond with her.

All the best,

Tanya

Magical Moments with Mommy’s Mini Me

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“Mommy, are you going to wear the dress that looks like mine? You promised!” My five year old asked and informed me. Before my daughter was even one year’s old, we would often dress alike. I had a few reasons for this. It was a way for her to learn colors, I would always know what color she was wearing if for some reason she got separated from me, and let’s face it, I think it’s fun and cute for us to dress alike or at least in similar colors from time to time.

Yesterday, we attended a special dance hosted by her dance school. Quinn’s father was her initial plus one, but I was eager to come too so that I could take pictures of her at her first “dance.” When I let her know about the event, she excitedly told me, “I have an idea! How about if we both wear our special blue dresses that look alike. Then we can be twins!”

Even though Quinn spent most of the time dancing the night away with her dad as I snapped pictures, it made my day that she wanted us to be “twins.” I’m not sure how much time I have before she no longer enjoys dressing a like. Maybe it’s something she will always look forward to doing for many years to come. For now, I will just consider these moments with my mini me as magical memories I will hold near and dear to me heart.

All the best,

Tanya

Life Lessons of Winning & Losing: Fun & Games with My Little Girl

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“Let’s play a different game!” my five year old insisted as she started putting away the “Connect Four” pieces. “Why?” I asked. To which she quickly replied, “You won the past two games!” Yesterday, we spent a few hours playing games from Hungry Hippos (a classic for me), Disney’s Surprise Slides, which is a variation of Shoots and Ladders, Who Shook Hook, Guess Who and a few others.

I can easily recall when I was younger having game day with my mom and my siblings. Though I enjoyed this family time, I often struggled with being a sore loser when we played “Sorry” or “Old Maid,” which I always seemed to be. It might have been the feeling that I’d never win, the hope that my mom would just let me win or even the occasional taunting from my siblings, but there were times when my eyes would fill with tears, and I’d utter those famous five words, “I don’t want to play anymore!”

Now that I’m older, losing isn’t necessarily easier to accept, but I am able to look at it through a different lens for the sake of my daughter. Though she handles losing much better than I did at her age, I can tell that it still upsets her. As we play games together, we laugh, have fun and hi five, there are also opportunities to discuss life as it correlates to games.

I told her that we all need to learn how to lose and win gracefully. We also discussed how we all can improve with practice, as she did with “Connect Four. When we first started playing when she was around three years old, she was still learning the concept of the game of getting four in a row, and diagonal was definitely tricky. Yesterday, she was really strategizing by making sure to block me and really gave me a run for my money. She legitimately won quite a few times without me going easy on her and just needs to balance blocking me while keeping an eye out for how she can get four in a row simultaneously.

Quinnie’s technique actually made me think about how people, sometimes focus so much on blocking others from winning that they still wind up losing because they aren’t paying attention when the opportunities for them to win present themselves. We went over how her strategy will continue to improve and played a few more rounds before moving on to “Hungry Hippos.”

I am so proud of her for her willingness to keep playing even when she was not winning. She even learned with Disney’s Surprise Slides that it’s not over until it’s over. She was far ahead on the board, and I managed to catch up with her. She then kept saying with each turn, “I don’t think I’m going to win!” But she still kept playing. I was on her tail, when she spun the red Mickey Mouse to win the game. A big smile was plastered on her face as she said, “I can’t believe it! I won! I thought I was losing for sure!” That’s when I told her, “Sometimes that’s how it goes! You think you’re going to lose, but you still win. That’s why you always keep trying your best!” We learn so much from life but sometimes more from games reflecting how life works.

All the best,

Tanya