Tag Archives: Motherhood

Mommy’s Monday Moments: Meet Momma Bear!

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Momma Bear

Today was my three year old’s second dance class, and she’s doing a wonderful job transitioning and not having me in the class with her. Unfortunately, the inevitable happened within a blink of an eye. As I looked through the glass observing Quinn have fun following along with the dance instructions, another little girl, who was having a hard time and refused to hold Quinn’s hand as the teacher instructed, decided she would take out her aggression on my daughter with a quick swat to the back of her head.

My little girl’s demeanor quickly changed as her smile morphed into a frown with tears welling up in her eyes. Though she tried to maintain her composure and did not burst out crying, it took everything in me to contain myself and remain in my seat as I muffled my deep sigh which caught the attention of the other parents except the one whose child hit mine, of course. The teacher handled it very well and stopped class to discuss why hitting is not allowed and not nice, but I found myself feeling helpless. I was not able to protect her, and I really am not sure what technique I should have her employ to address aggressive children who choose to hit her or put their hands on her.

When I was younger, I was not aggressive and did not like confrontation nor conflict. Quinn seems to be the same way. My dad would say, “If someone hits you, you better hit them back!” I just did not agree with this way of handling it then and do not now. On the other hand, I dreaded being bullied and found myself at the end of harsh treatment from children quite often. I want Quinn to stand up for herself but in a civil way. I asked her if she enjoyed class today, and she said, “I had fun until someone hit me. Why did she hit me, Mommy?” It upset me quite a bit, and all I could tell her at this point was, “If someone hits you, tell them to please stop and that it is not nice to hit.” I know this may not solve all of the future problems, but for now I think it is age appropriate. I hope and pray that there will not be many more situations like this, but Momma Bear needs to be ready when and if they do.

All the best,

Tanya

Mommy’s Monday Moments: My Little Girl’s Dancing Without Me, & I Couldn’t Be More Proud

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Dance Class

Quinn in Her First Dance Class (The Other Children’s Faces Are Intentionally Blurred)

Yesterday, I posted a blog entry on my three year old transitioning from our mommy and me class to an independent class at the Little Gym. I was a little nervous since this was her first class without me, and I knew I would miss our class together. Today was her first dance class, and my little girl made me very proud as she followed the instructions of the teacher (at least 90 percent of the time) and danced around eagerly in her little tap shoes and then ballet shoes along with the other children.

Her former teacher at The Little Gym jokingly commented on how I was nervously pacing the floor looking into the classroom through the glass window while Quinn was full of smiles and probably wouldn’t have even noticed if I stepped out of the waiting area. While part of me wanted her to miss me and long for my presence in the classroom, it makes me feel good that Quinn is growing up and becoming more independent. Though I could see what was happening though the large glass window, it was a different experience for me because I could not hear all of what was going on in the classroom, and Quinn certainly could not hear me over the music and instruction from the teacher with it being in a separate room.  This is a perfect example of the experiences to come. Sometimes there will be limitations on what I can do as Quinn’s mommy, and I may be forced to just observe as she makes decisions as my big, little girl. Here’s to fun-filled classes for Quinn and her continued growth and development socially, mentally, emotionally and intellectually!

All the best,

Tanya

 

Let’s “Scramble”for Words as Easy as ABC: What to Do When My Three Year Old Wants to Play Scrabble

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Wanting to Play Scrabble
Learning to Play Scrabble

Yesterday, my teenage nephew and I played “Scrabble” while my three year old daughter, niece and husband played “Pop the Pig.” Every so often, Quinn would sneakily creep over to our table and take a tile or two from my rack and scurry away giggling. This morning, upon arriving downstairs and seeing me take the “Scrabble” game box from the dining room table to put it back with the other games, she pleaded, “No, Mommy! Please don’t put the game away. I want to play Scramble!” As I explained, “Honey, you need to be a little older to play “Scrabble,”(I thought it was cute that she called it Scramble) and you need to know how to read.” She persisted, “But I know how! I know all of my letters in the alphabet. This is an “S.” This one is a “C…” She identified every letter in the word Scrabble and every letter on the tiles on the box and then told me, “See, I t0ld you I know how to read. This means we can play, right?”

I was impressed with her logic and argument for why she should be able to play, so we did a variation of the game, which is meant for ages eight and up. She purposely sought out the colored blocks on the board and identified the letters then looked for the tiles to spell what she saw, such as the word “double” and “word.” Then, I would ask her to find specific letter tiles or to find one that makes the “Ba” sound or “What letter does Kangaroo start with,” and she’d find the tile and put it on the board. This was enough to make her happy playing the game an feeling like she was spelling words.

Something I thoroughly enjoyed doing when I was younger and still do today is playing Scrabble. Yes, it can be a long and somewhat arduous game as I run out of letters or spaces on the board, but I love the way it stimulates my mind and critical thinking. Plus, I may learn some new words along the way. I’m looking forward to playing Scrabble the “right” way with my little girl when she is a bit older and “really” does know how to spell.

Al the best,

Tanya

Mommy’s Monday Moments: You Steer. I’ll Pedal.

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Today, my little girl and I went to the zoo, and we did the swan boat which requires the riders to pedal and steer. It wasn’t until we got on that my daughter realized that her three year old legs would be unable to reach the pedals. “I want to pedal, mommy!” she pleaded. After informing her that her legs just are not long enough, I asked for her help with steering. Of course, this was tricky because she’s still learning how to steer her little bicycle, so I had to help her out some, and she repeatedly told me, “I can do it, Mommy! I want to do it by myself.”

In this moment, I thought about how there will be times when I will want to take the wheel but must step back and let her steer the course of her life with minimal interference from me. For now, my job is prepare her for the many obstacles on the course and to give her the necessary training for driving herself in the right direction throughout her life. It’s amazing how a fun activity left me in a pensive state over my daughter steering the course of her life. But then again, I’m glad that her well-being is always on my mind and pray that I am currently providing her with the necessary lessons to eventually steer herself.

All the best,

Tanya

It’s My Third “Mommyversary!”

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Third Mommyversary
Third Mommyversary
Third Mommyversary
First Mommyversary
Second Mommyversary

Wow, it’s hard to believe that less than a week ago,I was celebrating my daughter’s third birthday, and now it’s my third anniversary as a mother. While my little girl has grown physically, and emotionally, my role as her mommy has too. Though I do still question if I’m making the best decisions for her and often pray that I am being a “good” mother, I am feeling more and more comfortable in my role as her mom. As I continue to take baby steps as her mommy, I’m not toddling as much as I did in the beginning, but every once in a while I have a misstep and may get a “metaphorical” scrape on my knee. But I’m getting better at dusting myself off, treating the scrape so that I can get back up and keep going on as her mother and role model.

Composing these blog entries about our journey together as mother and daughter is part of what helps me grow and embrace our bond. It gives me the opportunity to reflect on how far we’ve both come. I truly am grateful for the experience of motherhood because it has actually helped me to evolve into a better version of my former self not just for my daughter but for my husband, my family and friends and definitely for me as well.

Here’s to my third “mommyversary” and many more to come, and here’s to mothers everywhere celebrating motherhood. May you be recognized for all of the sacrifices, lessons, love and compassion you’ve displayed not just on this mother’s day but year round.

All the best,

Tanya

 

Mommy’s Monday Moments: I Miss Being Missed

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File Apr 11, 6 24 22 PM

My Little Girl Having Fun Without Me at IHOP

Last week, I posted a blog entry about missing my daughter because I’d be out of town for the majority of the week. When I saw her yesterday after missing her sweet smile for days, my heart melted as she excitedly hugged me. Then, my little girl revealed something; maybe she didn’t miss me as much as I thought she would.

“Guess what Mommy! We went to IHOP!” she exclaimed. We often go to IHOP on Fridays as a family, and it doesn’t hurt that kids eat free. What’s funny is that whenever we drive near IHOP, Quinn will say, “I want to go to IHOP, but we can’t go without Daddy! We’ll have to wait until he gets home from work.” Since I was out of town, they went without me. I couldn’t believe it! My husband even mentioned that the servers inquired about my whereabouts. He sent me a picture of Quinn with her giddy smile so excited to eat her pancakes. She told me that they went Target, our favorite shopping spot, and said, “I had the best day ever with Daddy!”

Of course, I’m happy that my husband and Quinn are so close and that they had a great time together to bond even further. Though my husband is home with her on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I must admit that I thought she would miss me more and constantly ask about me. My husband told me that she asked a few times to see me on the video (Skype and FaceTime ), but for the most part, she was fine. Am I wrong for wanting her to miss me a little more?

All the best,

Tanya

 

Mommy’s Monday Moments: Missing My Little Girl

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2016-03-11 14.15.41“Absence makes the heart grow fonder” is one of those cliché phrases people utter to soothe others or themselves when they are away from their loved ones. Even though there’s some validity to this phrase, it unfortunately is not soothing me as I cope with being away from my daughter throughout the course of this week. Shortly, I’ll be traveling a little over two hours away to Harrisburg, PA for a work-related function and will miss our daily bedtime routine of me hugging her, kissing her and telling her I love her and she doing the same to me. Then I’ll be traveling to the Washington, DC area this Thursday through Saturday and will not see her in person until Sunday.  Thank goodness for FaceTime, Skype and Nest.

We had some fun earlier today doing activities, and I’m going to make sure we enjoy each other tomorrow when I get home from work and Wednesday when we have the entire day together. Yes, I’m sure we can both benefit from having time apart to miss each other and recharge, but I truly do treasure our time together, and it’s moments like this when I appreciate the bond we have even more.

All the best,

Tanya

Here’s to Another Happy Mommyversary!

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Mommy and Daughter

Quinn and Me: Ready for Mother’s Day Brunch at the Please Touch Museum (2015)

As cliché as the saying goes, “There truly is something special about being a mom.” Though my little girl just turned two last week, this is my third year celebrating being a mother, and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. She constantly inspires me and is the reason I started this blog. As I continue on my journey taking baby steps into motherhood, I am bewildered at times because I know I have so far to go and so much to learn. Regardless of the emotions ranging from anxiety, happiness, frustration and joy, the views thus far have been breathtaking and often leave me in awe.

Being a mother has allowed me to have an even greater appreciation for my own mother, grandmothers, family and friends who are mothers, co-workers who are mothers, and even people who are mother-like figures to those without mothers, etc. People often remark that it is one of the toughest jobs that you will ever love and would not trade it for anything in the world. I wholeheartedly agree and hope that my little girl enjoys being my daughter as much as I enjoy being her mother.  Here’s to all of the mothers celebrating another mommyversary!

All the best,

Tanya

I’m a Mommyholic: Help Me Help My Toddler

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Quinn feeding herself with no help from Mommy

Quinn feeding herself with no help from Mommy

Hello, my name is Tanya, and I am a mommyholic. With each passing day, more of my world revolves around my adventurous and inquisitive 21 month old little girl, and as each day passes, I wonder if I am doing what is in the best interest of my daughter and her development.  For the past few months, I have been grappling with my latest transgression: overly helping my little girl, who expresses her independence in countless ways, do tasks without giving her a chance to show me what she may already be capable of doing. Of course, all children are not the same, but I am wondering how most parents are able to take a step back and let their young toddlers experiment, learn, maybe even be unsuccessful at a task but try again.

For instance, when Quinn is doing a puzzle, I cannot resist wanting to direct her or even turn a piece around or point out where it goes. Now, she wants to feed herself all the time with a fork or spoon, which is great, but there are instances when she gets nothing on the fork or spoon, and I have the urge to help her, which she is not always happy about. Sometimes, she’ll give me the “let me do it myself mommy!” look, and I feel so bad that I did not give her enough time to try on her own.

Maybe it is that I teach professionally, and it is my natural inclination to help. Perhaps I just do not like seeing the frustration on my daughter’s face if she cannot figure something out. Something new I’ve been doing is actually counting in my head to make sure I am giving her adequate time and even asking her if she needs help. This works sometimes, but she’s at that age where she will sometimes ask for help but not always. How do I know when she needs my help or needs me to back off? I have a feeling that this is a question that will resurface over and over throughout Quinn’s childhood and even into adulthood. If you have any techniques, please feel free to share.

All the best,

Tanya

Go to Sleep, Go to Sleep, Go to Sleep My Sweet Toddler!

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Quinn Wide Awake

Quinn Wide Awake at 4:45 am

Many parents struggle with getting their babies to sleep through the night, but my husband and I were the lucky ones who had our little girl sleeping through the night by the time she was four months old. We developed a schedule that has been working for a good while. She would consistently have her bath around 7:00 pm, get her bed time story around 7:20 pm and be in bed no later than 7:45 pm. In the morning, she would wake up anywhere between 6:00 am to 7:00 am. A couple of months ago, Quinn actually started sleeping in until around 7:30 am, sometimes 7:45 am. However, most recently, my 20 month old’s sleep habits changed. She went from sleeping in to waking up even earlier. Lately, at bed time, she’s very alert, ready to play and is certainly not eager to go to sleep. She will fuss about it some and eventually doze off maybe 15 minutes to a half hour later. In the morning, she has been waking up around 5:00 am, sometimes earlier. Though she is usually content and will remain calm in her crib until around 6:00 am (I watch her on our dropcam), I wonder if this change is attributed to her getting older and a reminder to me that my little girl isn’t a baby any more.

Any thoughts? Suggestions for getting my little girl to sleep back to sleeping in until 7:00 am? I’ll take 6:30 am!

All the best,

Tanya