Category Archives: Baby Please! Mommy’s Dilemmas

Everybody Needs Friends: Even Toddlers

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2015-06-11 14.50.55

Quinn with Her Friends

My daughter just loves having her picture taken with all of her “friends” sitting on the steps together. After everyone is perfectly arranged, she says, “Picture please! Picture with friends please!” I chuckle to myself and eagerly grab the camera to honor her request, especially now that she occasionally gets persnickety when I want to take her picture. Actually, she is not having her picture taken with actual people but her stuffed animals and dolls who she refers to as friends. Though my two year old does not go to daycare to interact on a regular basis with children her age, in observing her at The Little Gym during our weekly mommy and child session, she is often friendly and will say hello to the other children without me asking her to do so. She also loves spending time with her eight year old cousin and will ask just about every morning if she will see her today. When we go to the park, her smile widens as she sees other children, and she will wave at them excitedly. We do occasional have play dates so that she can have friends beyond her stuffed animals, but I would love to find more ways to give Quinn the opportunity to interact with other children since she may not be in day school until she is three. Having a child has conjured up my own childhood memories; I recall longing to make friends through most of my childhood and how there were times that I felt alone even in a classroom. I know she is only two and still getting to know the world and herself, but I want to do everything in my power to make sure she has friends. Having friends can provide comfort and a support system among many other benefits. We all need them: even toddlers!

All the best,

Tanya

Telling Time with a Toddler

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Quinn Playing with the Clock at the Park

Quinn Playing with the Clock at the Park

How would you like it if you were somewhere having the time of your life and thoroughly enjoying yourself to have someone come and tell you without warning, “That’s it! It’s time to go!” I’m sure would not be happy and may even be a bit irritated that you are being told that you have to leave when you are having such a good time, and it never was established what time you would have to leave. I never gave this much thought until one day when my two year-old daughter and I were at the park, and I turned to her and said, “Okay, honey it’s time to go.” Her response, understandably, was to whine and cry, shouting, “No! We stay at park!.” Realizing that I did not give her a warning, I felt bad and decided to give in allowing her to stay a little longer. Then an idea, which should have been obvious, came to me: why not let her know in advance when we will be leaving? There are some studies I have come across that state toddlers may not understand the concept of time, but from my observation with my daughter, I would say some do. Since Quinn was one, she’s always had a fascination with clocks and watches and will point them out when she sees them. My husband and I even got her a watch for her second birthday as one of her gifts. No, she cannot tell time yet, but she does know how to count, so I will set my stopwatch and let her know when we have fifteen minutes remaining, and when we get to ten minutes, we will count down together, and she will repeat after me, “Seven minutes Mommy!” Counting down has been working like a charm; the crying and tantrums have been cut down drastically. We use it at the park, in her playroom when we are in the store so that she is more patient when I am shopping (This is great because it forces me to get in and out and not dilly-dally too much myself), and anywhere else or with anything else where a countdown can be beneficial to help the transition from one activity to the next go smoothly. Now, Quinn will even initiate the countdown and say, “Mommy, I play with iPad for five more minutes please.” While I am sure this is used in childcare centers and day schools, sometimes parents do not implement these simple techniques in the home because it just never occurred to them. If you have a toddler or child who gets upset when it is time to leave, when it is time for an activity he or she is enjoying to end or even time for an activity to begin, such as nap time or bed time, give this a try! It is not 100 proof, but it most certainly works more often than not.

All the best,

Tanya

A Chip Out the Big Bowl: Toddlers, Parties and Healthy Foods Don’t Mix!

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2015-03-21 19.39.07Getting a toddler to eat healthy foods is so tricky, especially when attending a party. Yesterday, my family attended my aunt’s 60th birthday celebration dinner, and my daughter could not resist reaching for a cupcake and then reaching for the bowl of chips, pretzels or any other goodies on the table. What’s interesting is that she has only had cake three times in her 22 months of life, once for her birthday, once at a birthday party and then for my birthday. Also, she’s only had veggie chips but somehow knew that she’d like the less healthier Herr’s original option. How is it that children naturally have not just a sweet tooth but a hankering for junk food? Yes, I’m one of those, “It’s got to be healthy; are there any nutrients!” or “It’s got to be organic” moms, and it is getting tougher and tougher to keep Quinn on board. My family thought it was absolutely hilarious when Quinn just kept sneakily coming back to the table to grab chips and pretzels or even reach for another cupcake. This was one battle I just was not going to win. I’m just hoping she’ll still be willing to eat her veggie chips now that she’s gotten a taste of what she probably considers to be the good stuff!

All the best,

Tanya

PS. My sister suggested that I write about this incident on my blog as she, my cousins, aunts and uncles laughed as Quinn went back for chip after chip, so here it is!

50 Shades: The Complexities of Learning Colors Toddler Style 

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Quinn Pointing at the Black Bear

Quinn Pointing at the Black Bear

In life, everything is not black and white; there are different shades of gray. Who hasn’t heard that cliche statement or some variation of it? Even a toddler who is eager to learn and explore her surroundings quickly becomes aware of what this means, even is she cannot articulate it, when familiarizing herself with the concept of colors. My little girl, who will be 22 months in two days, does not go day care but has daily number, alphabet, color and critical thinking lessons taught by her father or me, which she enjoys. While learning her numbers and even counting to ten and knowing all of her letters and some shapes too are some skills she mastered months ago, the colors, those countless shades of colors, are taking a bit longer.

Initially, I was concerned that she only recognized about four colors consistently, the primary colors (red, yellow and blue) and purple (we’ve been working a lot with purple). Then it occurred to me (and after doing a little research) that most children do not master the basic colors until around age three. Also, the intricacies involving the many shades of colors can be quite overwhelming. While I try to use items that are “true or basic colors,” we come across so many different shades of the same color in our day to day activities that make learning colors one convoluted task. Why must there be so many shades of the same color? Yes, this comes in handy when picking that “perfect” shade of paint for a living space. But try explaining to a toddler that blue is not just blue. There is light blue, sky blue, royal blue, navy blue, etc. What about those colors that are a cross between two? My daughter has a bath time toy that is a fuchsia shade, which is a cross between purple and pink. How can a toddler, let alone an adult, grasp the concept of colors when there are so many different shades and mixtures?

Presently, we do a color of the week. Quinn and I will wear the color throughout the course of the week. We will have a treasure hunt and find objects around the house in that particular color and sing silly songs about the color. Some of the activities will involve making and playing with play dough in the color of the week and coloring pictures with the color of the week.

While I drive my self nuts trying to make this learning process fun and less confusing for my daughter, I find that I just might be making it more overwhelming than it needs to be for me. Then I must remind myself that a benefit my daughter has is that her brain is absorbing far more and building many more new connections than my adult brain is today. She’ll master those many shades of colors in no time! If you have any suggestions or activities that have helped your child learn colors, please feel free to share.

All the best,

Tanya

 

I’m a Mommyholic: Help Me Help My Toddler

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Quinn feeding herself with no help from Mommy

Quinn feeding herself with no help from Mommy

Hello, my name is Tanya, and I am a mommyholic. With each passing day, more of my world revolves around my adventurous and inquisitive 21 month old little girl, and as each day passes, I wonder if I am doing what is in the best interest of my daughter and her development.  For the past few months, I have been grappling with my latest transgression: overly helping my little girl, who expresses her independence in countless ways, do tasks without giving her a chance to show me what she may already be capable of doing. Of course, all children are not the same, but I am wondering how most parents are able to take a step back and let their young toddlers experiment, learn, maybe even be unsuccessful at a task but try again.

For instance, when Quinn is doing a puzzle, I cannot resist wanting to direct her or even turn a piece around or point out where it goes. Now, she wants to feed herself all the time with a fork or spoon, which is great, but there are instances when she gets nothing on the fork or spoon, and I have the urge to help her, which she is not always happy about. Sometimes, she’ll give me the “let me do it myself mommy!” look, and I feel so bad that I did not give her enough time to try on her own.

Maybe it is that I teach professionally, and it is my natural inclination to help. Perhaps I just do not like seeing the frustration on my daughter’s face if she cannot figure something out. Something new I’ve been doing is actually counting in my head to make sure I am giving her adequate time and even asking her if she needs help. This works sometimes, but she’s at that age where she will sometimes ask for help but not always. How do I know when she needs my help or needs me to back off? I have a feeling that this is a question that will resurface over and over throughout Quinn’s childhood and even into adulthood. If you have any techniques, please feel free to share.

All the best,

Tanya

Go to Sleep, Go to Sleep, Go to Sleep My Sweet Toddler!

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Quinn Wide Awake

Quinn Wide Awake at 4:45 am

Many parents struggle with getting their babies to sleep through the night, but my husband and I were the lucky ones who had our little girl sleeping through the night by the time she was four months old. We developed a schedule that has been working for a good while. She would consistently have her bath around 7:00 pm, get her bed time story around 7:20 pm and be in bed no later than 7:45 pm. In the morning, she would wake up anywhere between 6:00 am to 7:00 am. A couple of months ago, Quinn actually started sleeping in until around 7:30 am, sometimes 7:45 am. However, most recently, my 20 month old’s sleep habits changed. She went from sleeping in to waking up even earlier. Lately, at bed time, she’s very alert, ready to play and is certainly not eager to go to sleep. She will fuss about it some and eventually doze off maybe 15 minutes to a half hour later. In the morning, she has been waking up around 5:00 am, sometimes earlier. Though she is usually content and will remain calm in her crib until around 6:00 am (I watch her on our dropcam), I wonder if this change is attributed to her getting older and a reminder to me that my little girl isn’t a baby any more.

Any thoughts? Suggestions for getting my little girl to sleep back to sleeping in until 7:00 am? I’ll take 6:30 am!

All the best,

Tanya

What’s Eating You Baby?

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Quinn Eating Her Grilled Cheese Sandwich With Baby Spinach and Tomato

Quinn Eating Her Grilled Cheese Sandwich with Baby Spinach and Tomato

A few of months ago, I had a conversation with a mother of a two and a half year old, and she was sharing with me how her little boy has become such a picky eater. Getting him to eat any “healthy” food choices, outside of certain fruits, has been an ongoing battle. It was then that I knew my days were numbered with my little girl’s (who just turned 20 months yesterday) willingness to eat new and healthy foods. Within the past month, she has become more vocal, saying, “No,” shaking her head, shoving the spoon or fork away if my husband or try to feed her or even putting her hand over her mouth to show her disdain for certain food choices. Sometimes, she convinces me that she is just not hungry, but then my husband may have something “not so healthy” in addition to our meal for dinner, and Quinn will cozy up to him as sweet as can be and say, “Please.”

On one hand, I am excited that Quinn is becoming her own person and standing her ground, but on the other hand, I want to ensure that she is receiving the proper nutrients. Fruits are no problem, but veggies are getting tricky. So I’ve been getting clever with her meals. One of her favorites (I hope it stays this way) is grilled cheese with baby spinach and tomatoes. Another is mac and cheese with added broccoli, which she will ask for by name.  I have a feeling that I’m going to need to compile quite a few healthy meal selections as Quinn’s taste buds change or she refuses a meal choice. If you have any healthy options that your toddler loves, please feel free to let me know.

All the best,

Tanya

It’s My Hair, and I’ll Cry If I Want Too Baby!

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An Anomaly: Quinn smiling as she gets her hair done

An Anomaly: Quinn smiling as she gets her hair done

It’s wonderful dressing up little girls! There’s so many cute outfits, pretty little shoes, not to mention the adorable hair accessories. Unfortunately, as cute as the finished product may be, it is no fun for my 13 month old Quinn. She loathes getting her hair washed. As soon as she sees the shampoo she begins to whimper and cry hysterically. Combing her hair, and styling it tends to be a battle as well, but I’ve been doing a little trial and error to make the experience better for the both of us. Maybe you also struggle with doing your little girl’s hair, so this is what occasionally works for me.

1.Singing:  I either sing a children’s song I know she loves, or I have the song playing and sing along. It may not consistently calm her down, but it works about 80 percent of the time.

2. Snack: Even though I don’t want Quinn to associate food with getting her hair done or as a reward for sitting still and not fussing, she is more patient as I’m doing her hair while she is having her snack. If you look at the photo, you’ll see a box in the background containing her snacks.

3. Teamwork: I try to make her a part of the process by letting her hold a brush or comb or to look in her hair accessory box with me to get the items ready for her hairstyle.

4. Eagerness: Though she may not completely understand yet, I talk to her to get her eager and excited about getting her hair done. It works sometimes.

5. Distractions: Anything that can keep Quinn’s attention and distract her while I’m doing her hair is used. It may be “Super Why” or “Thomas and Friends,” a book or small toy she loves.

6. Intervals: Doing her hair in small intervals allowing her to have a break works too. For example, if she has four pony tails, I may do two then give her a fifteen minute break or a little longer, depending on how fussy she is about getting her hair done, then do the other two.

7. Right Products: I make sure to use hair styling products that are gentle on her hair but make it soft and manageable so that detangling her hair does not cause her too much distress.

Do you have a little one who prefers that you leave her hair alone? What works for you when you’re trying to give her an adorable style or to simply wash her hair? Please feel free to share.

All the best,

Tanya

 

The Battle of the Binkie

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Baby Quinn, Mia the Monkey & Best Friend Binkie

Quinn taking a quick nap with Mia the Monkey & Best Friend Binkie

“Are you putting pacifiers on your registry?” the woman asked her friend. She emphatically replied, “No baby of mine is using a pacifier. I don’t know why moms let their kids use them. I saw a four year old still sucking on one the other day!” As my baby girl sucked away on her pacifier dozing off into dreamland, I shamefully tucked it under her bib as the women approached us to dote over six month old Quinn. Prior to Quinn being born, I too vowed that she would not be a “paci baby” for fear of her craving it for comfort as a toddler or even a preschooler. Needless to say, Quinn had other plans.

After giving it some serious thought, I decided that for Quinn’s “eight month” birthday which was just two days ago, I would drastically cut down her pacifier usage. So I removed her pacifier clip when she was consumed with playing, and she did just fine unless it was nap time, bed time, she was getting her diaper changed or was just a little restless and longing for the comfort of her best friend. Of course, I lost the battle, caved in and gave it to her each time. She clutched the pacifier strap with delight, plopped her binkie in her mouth and gave me the “please-don’t-take-it-away-from-me-I-need-it-look.”  I know eventually I will need to stand my ground even if she cries for it, but how will I know when the time is right?

Freud stresses the importance of the oral stage which lasts until around 21 months, which means Quinn has plenty of time with her binkie. I want to do what’s best for my baby girl, but is nearly two years old too old? I know each child is different, but I’d love to know what other parents think through the poll provided below and/or by providing your insight by posting a comment. Thanks in advance.

All the best,

Tanya