Tag Archives: Preschooler Friends

Grateful to Grover: Easing the Transition of Preschool for My Little Girl

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2016-09-10-19-50-55“Please, Mommy! Don’t Go!” my three year old cried out. My chest tensed up, and I could feel a tear or two welling up in my eyes as I pried my daughter’s hand off of my arm while struggling to comfort her as I left her with the teacher who was trying to console and distract her with an activity or toy as I left for work. What a difference a week makes! Quinn went from being excited the first week to adamantly voicing her dislike of being left at school by her father and me in the second week. We’ve explained how fun school is and how it’s great to meet new friends and learn from the teacher, but she is still somewhat resistant, especially considering that this is her first school experience.

Actually, she mainly cries for us not to go during the initial drop-off, and the teacher has reassured us that she is smiling, having fun and interacting with the other children for the rest of the day. So, we’ve been trying to come up with a way to help with the transition from home-life to school life in the morning.

Apparently, Quinn had the answer all along; it was me who was not receptive to the idea because I wasn’t sure if it would be acceptable by the teacher. “Can Grover please come with me, Mommy?” Quinn would ask in such a sweet yet desperate voice. I suggested that she could bring him for show and tell to which she quipped, “Mommy, Grover is my friend, not a toy. We bring toys for show and tell, not friends.”

On this past Friday, we had a talk in the car before heading into the preschool building, and she seemed to be doing okay. She asked again if Grover could come with her, and I said that he could but needed to stay in her book bag, and I’d ask the teacher if it was okay for Quinn to nap with him. Quinn was fine with this compromise, but as I hung up her book bag and little jacket, tears began to form in her eyes.

As I gave her a hug and tried to console her, the teacher saw that Quinn was visibly upset and asked, “Where’s Grover, Quinn?” I was surprised at this inquiry. How did she know about Grover? Maybe Quinn mentioned him during nap time or when they were talking about friends or toys at some point. I asked, “Is it okay that she has Grover?” The teacher smiled and nodded, “Of course, she can have Grover!” She then looked at Quinn as I handed Grover to her from the book bag, “Your friend Grover can spend a little time with you this morning, and then you’ll be able to put him away in your book bag until nap time. Okay, Quinn.” Her tears subsided, and she smiled and clung to Grover. Quinn was going to be okay. I later found out that my husband allowed Quinn to bring Grover on that Thursday but just didn’t tell me.

While some people may think children should not be permitted to have “security blankets,” such as a binkie, favorite toy or an actual favorite blanket that provides comfort, I think it is sometimes necessary to get them through a major change or transition. I am so grateful to Grover, for he has provided my daughter with some comfort during this major change, and when I picked her up, she immediately informed me, “Grover and I had a fun day at school Mommy!” Hearing her say this really made my day because it truly did upset me to see her so distraught.

All the best,

Tanya

Mommy’s Monday Moments: Even If I Wanted to be, I Can’t Be My Daughter’s Friend

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2016-05-07 14.21.34

My Daughter with her Best Friend Grover and New Friend Zoe

“What’s wrong?” I asked my daughter as she began to scrunch up her nose and whimper a little. She fought back tears exclaiming, “My new friends left!” We were outside chatting after going out for a Mother’s Day brunch yesterday, and Quinn quickly befriended some other children with their family who were waiting to be seated. On Saturday, we went to Sesame Place, and it seemed that she would talk to any child who made eye contact with her and be so sad when they went on their merry way. “Where are they going, Mommy? Why are they leaving?”

2015-09-25 12.59.47Quinn is not in school and spends most of her time with her father and me. Even though we play games with her, do different activities and have a great time, deep down I know that she longs for more friends who are children. I posted a blog entry a few months ago about how she sets up all of her friends for “school” to take a picture together, but it’s not the same as actual friends who talk back. She has her cousins and a couple of other young children who are friends, but I am sensing that she feels lonely. I’m not looking to be my daughter’s friend because I’m her mother first, but when I see her with Grover, her best friend from Sesame Street and observe her play and interact with him, I get the feeling that she wishes he was a real person and feel sad sensing that she may be unhappy. It’s no consolation, but I got her a new friend, Zoë, from Sesame Place who is life-sized, and they both have become inseparable already. But Quinn had informed me, “Zoë is my friend, but she can’t talk and walk like you and me mommy.”

It is official. My little girl is ready for school for various reasons, and one of them is so that she may make new friends and have more social interactions with children her own age. When I asked her who are her friends, she said, “You, daddy, Nana, Auntie, Kenzie and Arya.” Most of whom are adults or much older children. Since she will not start until September, I truly am looking forward to setting up playdates throughout the course of the summer so that she feels like she has friends.

All the best,

Tanya