Tag Archives: Tanya Harris Franklin

One of My Toddler’s Favorite Activities

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Quinn Using her "My Activity Calendar"

Quinn Using her “My Daily Calendar”

“We go to Sesame Place on Saturday! We go tomorrow!” my two year old giddily tells her older cousin. Her cousin then came to me, “Auntie, are you really going to Sesame Place tomorrow?” I smiled with pleasure and said, “Yes, Quinn’s right! We’re going tomorrow.” My smile was in part because of the joy Quinn gets from going to Sesame Place but also because the resource I purchased for her a little over a month ago to further grasp the concept of time, days of the week, seasons, etc. is really working.

Since Quinn is not in day school, she does not have circle time where the teacher usually goes over the day of the week, weather, activities of the day, and so on. So I knew I needed to do something so that my little girl would be on target, not just for school but so that she can have the vocabulary to further articulate herself. As soon as we enter her playroom, she’ll immediately runs over to the her “My Daily Calendar”board, created by Melissa and Doug. One section she loves is the face to indicate her mood. Sometimes she will put the happy face in the board and say, “Today, I’m happy.” Or she will put on the face that has a tongue sticking out and say, “Today, I feel silly!” Sliding the arrow up and down to indicate the temperature is another task she enjoys, and of course going over our activities for the day is another. This section also forces me to follow through with our activities. For example, if I say we are going to the park and display it under activities, I better make sure we get to the park because I’ll never hear the end of it. “We go to park, today! It’s Wednesday. We go to the park!” Quinn says until we get there. The only issue I have with the activity board is that I did not purchase it sooner through Amazon. If you are looking for a way to not only teach your child the days of the week, month, to discuss his or her feelings, the weather, etc., this is perfect!
All the best,
Tanya
Here’s a video of Quinn using her “My Daily Calendar.”

The No-Gotiator:  How to Get a Toddler to Compromise

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2015-05-30 12.25.19

Quinn “the no-gotiator” refusing to leaving Sesame Place

Imagine if someone was holding your precious little girl captive and refused to release her. Would you panic, grow frantic and do whatever it takes to get your child back? This is a position I am occasionally in when my two year old is in full-fledged “no” mode. I want to plead with her, “Please, bring back my sweet little girl who eagerly does what mommy says!” Sometimes, the “no’s” start as soon as she wakes up. She calls out for me, “Mommy, Mommy, Momma, Mom!?” I come in her room to comfort and pick her up, and she hurriedly goes to the other end of her crib, shaking her head no, with a smirk on her face, when I try to pick her up. It turns into a production for as Quinn continues to challenge me with her emphatic “No’s,” as I cajole her to put on her clothes for the day, to have breakfast, sit on the potty, you name it! Through my ongoing battles with my little “no-gotiator,” I have began to compile different methods that actually work, more times than not, and figured I share them with other parents and guardians who are struggling with toddlers whose favorite word is “No! These tips are in “no” special order:

1. Give your little “no-gotiator” the impression that she has a choice. For instance, my toddler is getting more and more picky when it comes to food and what she wants to wear, so I will often select two outfits I want her to wear then ask her which one she wants. She’s very happy when she gets to wear what she picks out.

2. Appeal to her emotions. Though this one does not work as frequently as I would like, it is a good way to get her to develop a sense of empathy. Those times when she yells out no, simply ignores me or refuses to do what I am asking, such as putting away her toys after playing with them, I will tell her how happy it makes me when she follows directions and that I like it when she listens. I will usually put on my sad face so that she can see that I am clearly disappointed that she is not doing what she was told to do.

3. Positive Reinforcement. I make sure to, not overly praise but acknowledge when she listens and does not put up a fuss the first time I ask her to do something. For example, Quinn has a Dora the Explorer electric toothbrush she loves using. She loves it so much that she will say, “no” and run away when it is time to stop brushing her teeth. Whenever she hands over the toothbrush willingly, I let her know that I like how she follows directions.

4. Make the Connection Between Actions and Consequences. I’ve learned that I can’t be all talk and no action. If my little girl keeps saying no, such as refusing to leave a park or play area, I will give her a warning, countdown and then simply deal with her tantrum as I carry her off explaining that she must listen. Usually, there is no appealing to her emotions when it gets to this stage, but I do not want her to think she can get her way by simply saying, “no!”

5. Realize that your “no-gotiator” may be more persistent than you think, and consider if the battle is worth it. Getting my little girl to try new healthy foods is becoming a struggle. Just the other day, she cried hysterically and refused to eat her veggie pasta. There was no negotiating with her. She would not eat even one bite: even after offering her a special treat if she did. Having her sit at the table and cry hysterically beyond a half hour did not help either of us, but after she calmed down, I did appeal to her emotions in hopes that she will try something new in the future.

When all else fails, try to relax. As Daniel Tiger says, “When you’re feeling mad, and you want to roar, take a deep breath, and count to four!”

All the best,

Tanya

P.S. Another tip is that nothing works 100 percent of the time, and I’ve learned not to beat myself up too much when my little “no-gotiator” is unwilling to compromise. If you have any other tips, please feel free to share.

Telling Time with a Toddler

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Quinn Playing with the Clock at the Park

Quinn Playing with the Clock at the Park

How would you like it if you were somewhere having the time of your life and thoroughly enjoying yourself to have someone come and tell you without warning, “That’s it! It’s time to go!” I’m sure would not be happy and may even be a bit irritated that you are being told that you have to leave when you are having such a good time, and it never was established what time you would have to leave. I never gave this much thought until one day when my two year-old daughter and I were at the park, and I turned to her and said, “Okay, honey it’s time to go.” Her response, understandably, was to whine and cry, shouting, “No! We stay at park!.” Realizing that I did not give her a warning, I felt bad and decided to give in allowing her to stay a little longer. Then an idea, which should have been obvious, came to me: why not let her know in advance when we will be leaving? There are some studies I have come across that state toddlers may not understand the concept of time, but from my observation with my daughter, I would say some do. Since Quinn was one, she’s always had a fascination with clocks and watches and will point them out when she sees them. My husband and I even got her a watch for her second birthday as one of her gifts. No, she cannot tell time yet, but she does know how to count, so I will set my stopwatch and let her know when we have fifteen minutes remaining, and when we get to ten minutes, we will count down together, and she will repeat after me, “Seven minutes Mommy!” Counting down has been working like a charm; the crying and tantrums have been cut down drastically. We use it at the park, in her playroom when we are in the store so that she is more patient when I am shopping (This is great because it forces me to get in and out and not dilly-dally too much myself), and anywhere else or with anything else where a countdown can be beneficial to help the transition from one activity to the next go smoothly. Now, Quinn will even initiate the countdown and say, “Mommy, I play with iPad for five more minutes please.” While I am sure this is used in childcare centers and day schools, sometimes parents do not implement these simple techniques in the home because it just never occurred to them. If you have a toddler or child who gets upset when it is time to leave, when it is time for an activity he or she is enjoying to end or even time for an activity to begin, such as nap time or bed time, give this a try! It is not 100 proof, but it most certainly works more often than not.

All the best,

Tanya

It’s a Real Zoo Out There! Fun Activities for Toddlers

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Quinn and the Lion

Quinn and the Lion

My little two year old has always been fascinated with animals. She loves to mimic their sounds and look at pictures of them, so of course one of her favorite outings is going to the zoo. What a wonderful way for her to learn and even develop her vocabulary by telling me what she sees and for me to engage her even further by asking questions and telling her what I see too. Since the weather has been nice, we’ve been able to take advantage of our membership to the Philadelphia Zoo and visit once and sometimes twice a week for the past few months. While one may think going to the zoo this frequently would become boring, it does not because it just one more way for me to not only bond with my little girl but to observe how much she has learned and grown. I am amazed at how she is able to retain the names of the animals and some of the little facts we have learned along the way. For instance, initially she said, “I see turtle,” but when I explained that he was a tortoise, the next time we went to the zoo, she said, “I see tortoise.” She knows the difference between a lion and a tiger, but thought a cheetah was a tiger until I gave her the name of the animal and discussed how one has stripes and the other has spots. Now she gets excited and points out the cheetah. I just love how she greets each animal bellowing out, “Hello Lion!” or “Hello Sheep!” Sometimes it’s as though they have been waiting for her because the lion or polar bear will be resting or sleep, but after she says hello, they will come closer to where she is standing. If you haven’t taken your child to the zoo as yet, I highly recommend it. A wonderful adventure awaits!

All the best,

Tanya

Little Girl, Little Girl, What Do You See? A Beginner Book Just for You!

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Brown BearThough my daughter is only two, I am so pleased that she loves reading and flipping through the pages of books. I get so excited when I come across children’s books that not only teach my little girl a skill but that she looks forward to reading. One of the books I have been reading to her since she was just a couple of days old is the classic Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? (Slide and Find) by Bill Martin and illustrated by Eric Carle  which is a wonderful book that grows with the child. Initially, Quinn would just follow along with her eyes as I read to her and gradually began doing the slide and find to reveal what colorful animal is next to see. By the time she was a year and a half, she was able to identify all of the animals, and before her second birthday she started associating the color with the animal. (Observing her do this has been so rewarding because grasping the concept of colors is no easy task, as I stated in my previous post: 50 Shades: The Complexities of Learning Colors Toddler Style) I can appreciate that all of the animals are not typical colors, such as the purple cat and blue horse as this stimulates my daughter’s imagination. If you are looking for a book to teach your child about colors, animals, patterns and more, definitely consider picking this one off the shelf.

All the best,

Tanya

Cooking Up Some Teachable Moments with My Little Girl

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Quinn Sorting Bowls

Quinn Sorting Bowls

I thoroughly enjoy cooking and baking, and it warms my heart that I am able to involve my two year old daughter in the process, even if it is just sitting and watching me or her banging a measuring cup on the table. The other day, when I was preparing breakfast, I observed Quinn identifying and then sorting the bowls not only by their colors but their sizes. I just love how there are so many opportunities to learn all around us. Sometimes, I take for granted all of the “common” knowledge I possess until my two year old reminds me that it once was not “common.” What a blessing it is to learn through her eyes. I look forward to witnessing all that she has cooking up for me in the days, weeks, months and years to come!

All the best,

Tanya

Here’s to Another Happy Mommyversary!

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Mommy and Daughter

Quinn and Me: Ready for Mother’s Day Brunch at the Please Touch Museum (2015)

As cliché as the saying goes, “There truly is something special about being a mom.” Though my little girl just turned two last week, this is my third year celebrating being a mother, and I feel so blessed to have her in my life. She constantly inspires me and is the reason I started this blog. As I continue on my journey taking baby steps into motherhood, I am bewildered at times because I know I have so far to go and so much to learn. Regardless of the emotions ranging from anxiety, happiness, frustration and joy, the views thus far have been breathtaking and often leave me in awe.

Being a mother has allowed me to have an even greater appreciation for my own mother, grandmothers, family and friends who are mothers, co-workers who are mothers, and even people who are mother-like figures to those without mothers, etc. People often remark that it is one of the toughest jobs that you will ever love and would not trade it for anything in the world. I wholeheartedly agree and hope that my little girl enjoys being my daughter as much as I enjoy being her mother.  Here’s to all of the mothers celebrating another mommyversary!

All the best,

Tanya

Happy Birthday to My Little Girl. You’ve Reached the First Twenty Four!

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Quinn Age Two

Quinn Age Two (Photography by Lindsay Hamilton Photography)

How many hours are in a day? Twenty-four hours of course! That’s common knowledge. Using the numbers, 4,7,8,8, can you get a solution of 24? This one requires some critical thinking and math skills and can be simple or complicated. Are you capable of predicting all that is involved in raising a child to reach 24 months (two years old) even after reading the books, magazines, “expert websites” and more? Absolutely not!  Though the information about babies and toddlers is helpful, every child is different and unique in his or her own way. I learned this from day one with my daughter who celebrated her second birthday today, May 3rd, 2015. While I have plans for her, she has plans for me too. Thus far, she’s taken me on a journey with many curves, hills and valleys, and I have been enjoying the ride despite not always being sure of where we are headed. I am so grateful to have Quinn in my life and consider her and the love I have for her to be priceless. But if I were to use a metaphor, I’d say my love for her is 24 carats: pure gold! Here’s to making each day (24 hours) a memorable one for my daughter and for me.

All the best,

Tanya

To My Soon-to-be Two Year Old Who, at Times, Can be Too Much!

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Quinn Standing Her Ground and Making Her Demands Known

Quinn Making Her Demands Known

Alas, the moment has come. To prepare, I’ve read books, asked family and friends for advice and researched information online, but I am still anxious. Though I knew this day was imminent, especially with it being a week away, I still feel unprepared. While I hope that I will be up to the challenge as my soon-to-be two year old asserts her strong-willed nature and declaration of independence with resounding “no’s” to eating vegetables, putting on her clothes in the morning, getting her hair done, etc, I am a bit nervous. Sometimes, it is difficult to remain calm and patient while reining my little girl in from one of her major meltdowns, which are beginning to happen more frequently and in public settings. Just today, she became extremely upset and cried and screamed because we were leaving the mall when she wanted to get on one of the motorized rides for young children. Eventually, I had to carry her out of the mall with her kicking, crying and screaming because she refused to go back in her stroller and would not allow me to hold her hand so that we could get back to our car. It can be embarrassing while other shoppers in the mall give me the, “get your child under control” looks as my daughter carries on, but I know for the most part, Quinn is a pleasure, and will listen. Nevertheless, when she throws fits, I am tempted to just give in as she continues to test the limits, but I know I need to stand my ground. In the long run, we will have many more fun moments ahead of us than tantrums, so I will not give in to all of her demands so that my soon-to-be two year old knows that she is not too much for me, and we will have so many good times together as she continues to grow, learn and become her own person.

All the best,

Tanya

You “Go” Girl! Disguising Healthy Food for Toddlers

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Quinn looking for Go! Bars

Quinn looking for Go! Bars

As it becomes more and more difficult to get my daughter to eat vegetables, I have become more and more grateful for healthy food options that have nutrients that are disguised as treats my little toddler will enjoy. While shopping at Walmart shortly after Quinn turned one (she will be two in a few weeks), I came across the Go bar made by Plum Organics. This bar actually contains veggies, less sugar than the typical granola bar and many other vitamins and nutrients. Though it is my preference that my growing toddler eat actual healthy veggies, sometimes it is an ongoing battle that seems like it will never end. As she eats her Go bar and says, “Mmmm good,” I smile to myself knowing that she is getting some of the nutrients she otherwise may refuse to consume. Of course, this is not an everyday snack, (Quinn loves pears and pineapples) but it is great when I am on the go and my little girl utters an emphatic “No!” to healthier options, and I can reach for the Go bar knowing she will willingly eat it. Are there any healthy treats in disguise that you give your toddler? Please share.

All the best,

Tanya