Yesterday, my friend and her family were kind enough to host us at their lake house for the day, and there were so many magical moments and memories made. One in particular is when my six year old, holding her hand behind her back said, “I got something for you, Mommy!” It was a bright yellow flower, one I’d never seen before. “I got it when we were near the lily pads,” she informed me with a smile. I smiled back and said, “Thank you, Quinnie! It’s beautiful!”
As I admired this interesting little flower, I noticed something. There was a little insect inside making its way out. I called Quinn over to take a look with me, and she was fascinated by the little creature too. Once it was out, we actually discovered that there was another inside. I snapped a few pictures of it and thought to myself, humans need nature. I may not be fond of creepy crawlers, but I found myself entranced. There’s something endearing about observing children be their natural selves exploring nature. I truly am grateful for the ability to simply slow down and enjoy nature with my daughter and friends. It may not be the “norm” for most in 2019, but it feels so natural.
Even though babies are not born knowing how to see, then only in black, white and gray before eventually seeing in color months later, it’s amazing how they add so much color to the darkest of lives and moments. This occurred to me as I watched my daughter use her rainbow scratch and sketch book we purchased as the Franklin Institute last week. What I love about the book is that it’s not just black pages with rainbow colors underneath, but it gives suggestions and inspirational ideas to bring forth the color.
As a child and even as a young adult, there’s been times when I’ve been swallowed up by darkness, felt depressed, lonely and struggled to find the “color” or rainbow. But now, I try to focus on knowing that the color is always there if I scratch deep enough below the surface.
It also doesn’t hurt that the colorfulness of my little girl fills me with joy and hope whenever I find myself headed towards a dark place. It’s so easy to focus on the darkness coming from people, places and circumstances. But as my six year old told me, “Isn’t it so cool that underneath the black there’s all of these beautiful colors!”
“Hurry, Quinnie! You need to move quickly,” I warned my daughter as the vanilla ice cream turned started dripping everywhere. A few months ago, I gave my six year old an American Girl cookbook full of tasty desserts. Yesterday, she picked a cool, refreshing treat which we both thought would be perfect to make with the series of hot days we’ve been having with temperatures above 90 degrees: ice cream sandwiches!
Before getting started, we made sure we had all of the ingredients and purchased some extra sprinkles, mini chocolate morsels and mini M & M’s to decorate our frozen treats. This recipe actually called for creating our own soft chocolate cookies for the ice cream sandwiches: a first time for me. So I told my daughter ahead of time that it’s okay if they aren’t perfect because we’re learning together. Preparing the cookies went rather smoothly, and she practically did everything from start to finish with the exception of operating the oven.
It wasn’t until we started making the ice cream sandwiches that it became tricky or should I say messy. I absentmindedly followed the directions of the recipe and let the ice cream sit out for ten to fifteen minutes to soften it up not taking into account how hot it’s been, especially in the kitchen. Needless to say, the ice cream turned to mush in a matter of minutes. We were both racing the clock to apply the ice cream nice and neat between the cookies, decorate them with sprinkles, mini morsels or M & M’s and get the wrapped up in press and seal to be left in the freezer for at least two hours. Though they didn’t quite turn out like the picture in the book, in the words of Quinn, “It wasn’t an epic fail because they still tasted good!”
Baking cookies and making ice cream sandwiches with my little girl on a hot summer day made me think about life. Sometimes you have all of the ingredients you need, along with a few extras, follow the instructions, and it might not turn out as you had hoped. It might actually get quite messy! But that shouldn’t take away from the fun memories created while you were collecting the ingredients and following the instructions. Even as an adult, I’m still constantly being reminded that sometimes I need to modify the ingredients or instructions based on the circumstances. Also, it’s necessary to get past the messiness to simply enjoy that mushy yet tasty ice cream sandwich, especially in the summer heat.
“I have something for you, Mommy,” my little girl told me. It wasn’t Mother’s Day, not my birthday nor Christmas. What could it be, I thought? Probably a picture she drew or a craft she made at camp. “You have something for me?” I asked. “For you and Daddy,” Quinn responded. It was a special note she wrote that said, “For Mom and Dad.” Inside, it read, “You are kind an loveing. love Quinn.” While the English professor in me was tempted to tell her she spelled loving incorrectly, I was just so moved by the kind gesture of my six year old.
I inquired, “Did your camp counselor ask you all to write notes to your parents?” Quinn quickly said, “No! I just wanted to write you and Daddy a note to thank you for being kind and loving.” Even though we’ve both been keeping gratitude journals since the start of the year and often talk about the importance of expressing gratitude and thanking people for their generosity and kindness, I was still pleasantly surprised to get such a lovely note from Quinn. She truly is a loving and caring daughter for which I am grateful.
Playing games, reading and painting activities at home. Fun trips to the park and zoo, countless restaurants, and of course, Sesame Place. Grover has seen so much and been through so much in his five years with my daughter, Quinn. When we went to see “Toy Story 4,” along with Grover as one of Quinn’s companions, it made me think about all of the treasured moments my six year old and Grover have had together.
Grover entered her life around one years old as a surprise gift when her father and I had our first date night where she spent the night at my mother’s house for the first time. I wanted to give her something special when we returned, and when I saw Grover at the local toy store in Peddlers Village, I was immediately drawn to him and knew he would be perfect for her. Plus, Grover was always one of my favorite Sesame Street characters.
Quinn loved Grover from day one. He offered her comfort at night and during naps. She even made a Grover pumpkin for Halloween one year. Even now, he can often be found either on her lap or on the passenger seat next to her when we’re going on a car ride somewhere. In his five years, my heart raced as we scrambled around the zoo in search of Grover who was somehow left at the picnic bench. One time, we had to retrieve him from the local Marshall’s store from the front desk after I asked the question I’ve posed hundreds of times or that Quinn asked me, “Where’s Grover?!”
From his years of being loved so much, he’s endured several machine washings and three “eye” surgeries to restore his sight from his pupils wearing away. Even though his lip is busted some, he still smiles alongside Quinn knowing that Elmo and a plethora of other stuffed animals have failed to take his place.
Sadly, both Grover and I know that his days are numbered as Quinn gets older and continues to become more interested in her American Girl doll, but for now, she still loves him so much and still includes him in tea parties and outings. Grover has a special place in my heart too. He has allowed me to see how affectionate Quinn can be, and with her being an only child, she finds comfort in having him as her near and dear friend.
If only Grover could talk, the stories he’d tell! I hope he’s enjoying being a part of our family as much as we enjoy having him be a part of ours.
“I just love nature! Don’t you, mommy? What do you think we’ll see?” my daughter asked when she found out we were going on a nature hike with our cousins. “Did you ever go on nature hikes when you were younger, Mommy?” Quinn asked. “Yes, I did, and I really enjoyed them,” I told her. “Now, you get to go on a nature hike with me as an adult. Isn’t that cool?”
Even though Quinn and I regularly go for walks, it’s been quite some time since we explored nature together surrounded by thousands of trees, so this was a real treat for us both. We met up with our cousins at the Wissahickon Valley Park Trail in Philadelphia at Bells Mill entrance, and my six year old and her five year old were eager to get hiking. There were no iPads, tablets or technology to stimulate them, yet they were both intrigued by just about everything from the rocks, to the streams, to the trees to the insects, to the animals to the actual leaves on the trees.
It didn’t take long for the girls to want to take a back trail climbing over fallen trees and mountainous rocks. My cousin and I were impressed with how well they did. They were mindful of their surroundings wanting to stop frequently to take in the sights. Both Quinn and Ellie walked carefully so they wouldn’t lose their footing and were very brave when we came across steep, narrow and rocky areas on the path.
They had fun simply playing with sticks, racing to catch up with me and interacting with the butterflies, chipmunks and worms too. One of the highlights was feeding the geese bread. Though the birds eventually became a bit aggressive in pursuit of more bread, the girls were absolutely tickled and ran off squealing as they were chased by the geese. “That was fun and gave us exercise too,” Quinn said.
As we headed back to our cars after three hours of walking and exploring, Quinn asked, “Mommy, do you think we can come back here again to explore? Maybe next time with Daddy?” To which I responded, “Definitely!” I can’t wait to go on the next hike with Quinn. This will certainly be one of our go-to activities together.
Ever heard the phrase, “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family?” If you think about it, this is only partially true. While I didn’t get to pick my own parents, I did get to pick who I would start a family with. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the best relationship with my father and was often emotionally and verbally abused by him (when my mother was not present) as a child causing me to lack self-esteem and often feel depressed. I was elated when my parents divorced because I was no longer subjected to my father’s ill treatment and vowed that I would try my best to protect my future child from suffering the same fate at the hands of her own father.
Gratefully, I was lucky enough to find a dear friend and significant other of nearly twenty years, and we’ve been married going on eight years. Sometimes, we fall in love with people but don’t take the time to envision how they will be as parents or they unpleasantly surprise us once we’re married revealing a person we didn’t realize was there. With this in mind, I feel so blessed that how I envisioned my husband as a parent based on his beliefs and values actually surpassed that for which I was hoping. It has allowed me to love him even more over the years.
From day one in the hospital after I gave birth, he was there, instantaneously in love with his daughter. He’s so caring and in tune with her needs. He offers her praise and positive reinforcement, and she just can’t get enough of him. Though my daughter and I have a great relationship and bond, If I’m honest, at times, I long for the special closeness they have. Quinn is not just a daddy’s girl, but my husband is definitely a daddy wrapped around his little girl’s finger.
For Father’s Day, he just wanted nothing more than to stay at home spending time with our little six year old, and she just wanted the same. On this day and every day, I am grateful not just for a caring husband but for a loving father who’s showing his little girl her true worth and how she deserves to be treated not just through his words but his actions too.
Here’s to all of the strong fathers and father figures, who offer physical, mental and emotional support and love, not just to their children but the mothers of their children too! May it be returned back to you ten fold.
“Are you ready, Quinn? There’s no turning back! Once it’s done, it’s done!” I informed my six year old. She smiled as eager as can be, “I’m ready!” For the past couple of years, my daughter occasionally asked about getting her ears pierced to which her father and I would respond, “Maybe when you’re a little older because this is a major decision. We want to make sure you’re absolutely sure.” We both decided before Quinn was born that we would not pierce her ears until she could verbally tell us that it’s what she wanted instead of making that decision for her.
Since she turned six on May 3rd, the main topic of conversation on a daily basis has been getting her ears pierced. She wanted to know when I got my ears pierced (I was a baby) and why most of her friends in school already have their ears pierced. “I watched a YouTube video where a little girl got hers done at Claire’s, and it only hurt for a split second,” she told me. Baffled, I asked, “How’d you find that video?” My kindergartener, who is a pretty sharp reader and writer, informed me that she typed in kids ear pierce, and the video came up. As a result of this, I knew she meant business. After discussing it with her dad, we decided that it was time and that she’d get it done as a special reward after her kindergarten graduation event.
We headed to Claire’s at Willow Grove Mall, and I probably had more butterflies in my stomach than Quinn. She skipped right up towards the store where I took her “before” pictures, and she was so excited to sit in the ear piercing chair holding their teddy bear, Petunia, who had her ears pierced. After looking at the many earring choices, she settled on 24 karat butterfly earrings: butterflies, what a coincidence!
To make the process easy, the Claire’s ear piercing specialist suggested having both ears done simultaneously to which we all agreed. First, I read over and signed the contract, which was probably the most difficult part with all of the warnings and precautions that must be taken into account to ensure that Quinn’s ears heal properly with no infections. Then the location for the piercings was designated and agreed upon. After that, the intense part of getting the actual ear piercings was performed. Quinn held Petunia and sat very still. Then with two simultaneous, loud clicks, and a quick bat of the eyes from Quinn, she was all done: no tears or scream of pain. “That didn’t hurt at all,” she said proudly.
It was such a magical moment over in a matter of seconds. Afterwards, she smiled so wide looking in the mirror and picked out a few more pairs of earrings to wear when she’s all healed. I told her, “Seeing you with earrings is going to take some getting used to for me. It means you’re really a big girl now!” Quinn just smiled and responded, “I am a big girl, Mommy!”
Though there’s so many more milestones to go, this one really “pierced” my heart letting me know there’s no turning back, and with each passing day my daughter is evolving into a big girl and will one day be a young lady and then a grown woman.
“Ooh, it’s sparkling all over, Mommy!” my six year old said while the sparkler illuminated as she held the end of its stem. This Memorial Day weekend, we had an intimate family cookout to not only remember the fallen soldiers but to celebrate my husband’s birthday too. As my daughter eagerly put on her red, white and blue romper and was ready to spend time with her family, I knew it was going to be a fun time.
As the day went on, I pulled out the sparklers I purchased. These are one of my favorite little fireworks from childhood. Though it may not cause much stimulation for adults, I knew the kids would enjoy them.
When I attempted to light the first sparkler, the wind picked up each time making it more difficult to get a spark. So we had to find a corner to shield the wind and find the right angle to light the sparkler. Even with trying to get the “right” angle, it took a little time. But once we developed a technique and realized that we couldn’t just hold the flame at the tip but had to slowly move it up in down from the tip a few centimeters, we finally go the sparkler ignited. After getting the first one, the others were much easier to do.
My daughter was so patient throughout this process. Yet at first, she was a little nervous about holding the sparkler. But once she did, she held the sparkler confidently and asked, “Can I do another one, please?!” Lighting the sparklers made me think about how much of a sparkler my little girl is. She truly illuminates my world. When her eyes light up about something that sparks interests within her, it fills me with hope and reignites some sparks in me that I thought fizzled years ago.
A sparkler may last just a minute or two, but the fun and experience from holding and waving them, for me, lasted well into adulthood. It is my hope that the passion and hope my daughter currently has will last a lifetime keeping her filled up and determined to leave her spark on the world.
“You know, Mommy, sorting and rolling socks together is actually kind of fun,” my newly six year old informed me yesterday as she helped with the laundry. Since my daughter was a toddler, she’s been helping around the house with basic tasks like putting away her toys, sweeping, clearing the plates from the table and even washing dishes. Most people would agree that chores can not only be a time consuming but be the tasks they dread doing the most. So it pleases me that my daughter has actually been begging for more chores to do around the house.
When she was a toddler, she’d help sort clothes by color or by item, such as tights, shirts or pants. But now she’s insisted on doing more, so she helps with folding undershirts, underwear and socks. “There’s a lot of socks here, Mommy!” Quinn started counting them and told me, “I folded together twenty-one pairs of socks, Mommy!” I love chores that stimulate critical thinking and allow my daughter to use math. Even afterwards, on her own, she decided to carry several of the socks in her shirt wrapped up at the bottom so that she could carry more at once. “Very clever technique, Quinnie!” I told her.
While I am sure there will come a time when Quinn may dread doing a certain chore, for now, I am grateful that she has fun doing them and understands the importance of contributing towards our household.
Yesterday, my friend and her family were kind enough to host us at their lake house for the day, and there were so many magical moments and memories made. One in particular is when my six year old, holding her hand behind her back said, “I got something for you, Mommy!” It was a bright yellow flower, one I’d never seen before. “I got it when we were near the lily pads,” she informed me with a smile. I smiled back and said, “Thank you, Quinnie! It’s beautiful!”
Mommy's Baby Steps 