Tag Archives: Tanya H. Franklin

Life Lessons from My Little Girl at the Park #3

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Quinn Ready to Show Her Gymnastic Skills

Quinn Ready to Show Her Gymnastic Skills

When I was younger, I loved going to the park and could spend hours upon hours there begging my mom for more time on the swing or teeter totter. Now, it’s my two year old daughter who pleads, “Five more minutes Mommy, please,” putting up her little hand displaying her five fingers. Occasionally, I give in, and in return, my daughter often teaches me a life lesson at the park. My past two blog entries this week have been about crossing bridges and the power of the slide. Today, it’s all about having fun with the equipment you’ve been given, endurance, and putting those fears aside.

One day, months before Quinn’s second birthday, she prepared to go down the slide but then stopped and observed the metal bar a little above her head. It must have reminded her of the bars she uses at The Little Gym because she quickly grabbed hold of it with both hands and began to swing. My heart began to race. While I was amazed at how well she was holding on (even better than she does at The Little Gym which has protective mats), I was nervous that she would either realize the riskiness of her “gymnastic routine” and get scared or lose her grip and hurt herself. Rather than tell her to stop in a panicky voice, I just stood as close as possible and softly told her to be careful, and she confidently said, “I be careful Mommy.” She squealed with excitement awaiting my applause, which I, of course, granted her as the fear in my heart turned into pleasure.  If only more adults, including me, could be more like my daughter: having fun with the obstacles put in front us, casting our fears aside and just going for it!

All the best,

Tanya

Life Lessons from My Little Girl at the Park #2

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Quinn Walking Down the Slide

Quinn Walking Down the Slide

At least four to five times a week during the summer, my two year old daughter and I go to the park, and at least four to five out of these times we visit the park, I learn a life lesson from her. Yesterday, I posted a blog entry on the bravery it takes to cross bridges. Today, it’s all about the power of the sliding board, which my little girl enjoys. Sometimes she zips down quickly. Other times she purposely inches down little by little, trying to make the trip down the slide last as long as possible. Lately, she takes pleasure in being a dare devil: walking down or up the slide and sneakily trying to slide head first if I don’t stop her first. As I told her one day, “Quinn, slide down the right way. You’re not supposed to walk on the sliding board,” the memory of me  having fun, walking up a sliding board immediately flashed in my mind. How dare I deny my child her fun? Is it always about following the rules or using something solely for its initial purpose. Climbing up the slide instead of taking the stairs might seem like merely a shortcut, but it forces her to exert herself more as the incline, slippery slide and gravity are the forces pulling her down as she tries with all of her might to go up. There are times when the slide of life or what appears to be fate is pulling me in a certain direction. As most people will say just go with it and slide on down, I still have choice. When I looked at Quinn’s face as she made it back up the slide, I saw her sense of accomplishment which far outweighs the joy she gets from actually going down the slide. Who knew such a big lesson could come from my little girl? Thanks so much sweetheart! I hope others will benefit from your lesson.

All the best,

Tanya

Life Lessons from My Little Girl at the Park #1

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Quinn Crossing the Bridge All By Herself

Quinn Crossing the Bridge All By Herself

Most children love going to the park, and my little girl is no different. She enjoys running, jumping and playing on the different equipment, and I love seeing how motivated and determined she is when facing any obstacle. In simply observing her, it occurred to me that while she’s having fun (of course I have fun interacting with her too), she is learning and teaching me quite a few life lessons. One of the parks we go to has a bridge. When Quinn initially came across it, she was hesitant, possibly because it seemed long to her or was a little shaky. She asked me to go across with her and to hold my hand, but about midway across she eagerly wiggled her fingers out of my grasp and went the rest of her way by herself, excitedly saying, “I cross the bridge Mommy!” I was probably more nervous than her but so proud of my brave little girl, who wasn’t quite two at the time, for not letting the obstacle of the bridge intimidate her and stop her from getting to the other side. Since then she prefers to go across without my assistance, but if she observes another child, usually older, jumping and shaking the bridge, she has enough common sense to wait until it is safe. When I think about the obstacles I’ve faced in life, there have been many occasions when I faced a bridge I needed to cross to reap the benefits of what was in store for me on the other side, but there were times when I allowed the bridge and the thought of its instability to intimidate me, making it take longer than I would have liked to cross it. Quinn has taught me that being brave enough to cross that bridge sometimes requires a support system to get us started. While she wanted to cross the bridge, she felt more comfortable knowing that I was there with her. Oftentimes, adults, including me, feel that they must do it all by themselves and think relying on support is a sign of weakness, but I have learned from my little girl that as long as the support can get me started, it will be my own determination and bravery that allows me make it across.

All the best,

Tanya

Time for the Big Girl Table! My Little Girl is Growing up!

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Quinn Enjoying Her Big Girl Table

                                Quinn Enjoying Her Big Girl Table

Alas, I knew this day would come. I even prepared for it by purchasing a Kid Kraft table with chairs that resembles my own dining room set as one of the gifts when my little girl turned two so that she feels like a big girl. While some children want to sit at the big table because their older siblings do or it is the way it is done at daycare, my little two year old is an only child who is not in day care, so she was content with sitting in her high chair until I introduced her very own table and chairs set. While sitting at the table may not seem like a big deal to her, outside of the joy she gets from looking out of the window, it is to me. My little girl is no longer a baby, and while I want the best for Quinn and am wiling to do what is necessary to promote her independence and development, part of me misses my baby. Though I now can get a couple of tasks done while she is eating, I actually miss making silly faces at her to get her to eat and assisting her with holding the spoon to get those sweet potatoes or mashed bananas into her mouth. Of course, it is wonderful that she now can feed herself and eagerly runs to her table for breakfast, lunch or dinner, but my little girl is growing up so fast leaving me wondering where the time went. Before I know it she’ll be moving from the “big girl” table to the actual dining room table. It’s amazing how one milestone is able to make me not only appreciate the time I have with my daughter but be excited with how well she is progressing into toddlerhood. Here’s to many more milestones to come!

All the best,

Tanya

Quinn Sitting Across from the Dining Room Table

Quinn Sitting Across from the Dining Room Table

One of My Toddler’s Favorite Activities

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Quinn Using her "My Activity Calendar"

Quinn Using her “My Daily Calendar”

“We go to Sesame Place on Saturday! We go tomorrow!” my two year old giddily tells her older cousin. Her cousin then came to me, “Auntie, are you really going to Sesame Place tomorrow?” I smiled with pleasure and said, “Yes, Quinn’s right! We’re going tomorrow.” My smile was in part because of the joy Quinn gets from going to Sesame Place but also because the resource I purchased for her a little over a month ago to further grasp the concept of time, days of the week, seasons, etc. is really working.

Since Quinn is not in day school, she does not have circle time where the teacher usually goes over the day of the week, weather, activities of the day, and so on. So I knew I needed to do something so that my little girl would be on target, not just for school but so that she can have the vocabulary to further articulate herself. As soon as we enter her playroom, she’ll immediately runs over to the her “My Daily Calendar”board, created by Melissa and Doug. One section she loves is the face to indicate her mood. Sometimes she will put the happy face in the board and say, “Today, I’m happy.” Or she will put on the face that has a tongue sticking out and say, “Today, I feel silly!” Sliding the arrow up and down to indicate the temperature is another task she enjoys, and of course going over our activities for the day is another. This section also forces me to follow through with our activities. For example, if I say we are going to the park and display it under activities, I better make sure we get to the park because I’ll never hear the end of it. “We go to park, today! It’s Wednesday. We go to the park!” Quinn says until we get there. The only issue I have with the activity board is that I did not purchase it sooner through Amazon. If you are looking for a way to not only teach your child the days of the week, month, to discuss his or her feelings, the weather, etc., this is perfect!
All the best,
Tanya
Here’s a video of Quinn using her “My Daily Calendar.”

The No-Gotiator:  How to Get a Toddler to Compromise

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Quinn “the no-gotiator” refusing to leaving Sesame Place

Imagine if someone was holding your precious little girl captive and refused to release her. Would you panic, grow frantic and do whatever it takes to get your child back? This is a position I am occasionally in when my two year old is in full-fledged “no” mode. I want to plead with her, “Please, bring back my sweet little girl who eagerly does what mommy says!” Sometimes, the “no’s” start as soon as she wakes up. She calls out for me, “Mommy, Mommy, Momma, Mom!?” I come in her room to comfort and pick her up, and she hurriedly goes to the other end of her crib, shaking her head no, with a smirk on her face, when I try to pick her up. It turns into a production for as Quinn continues to challenge me with her emphatic “No’s,” as I cajole her to put on her clothes for the day, to have breakfast, sit on the potty, you name it! Through my ongoing battles with my little “no-gotiator,” I have began to compile different methods that actually work, more times than not, and figured I share them with other parents and guardians who are struggling with toddlers whose favorite word is “No! These tips are in “no” special order:

1. Give your little “no-gotiator” the impression that she has a choice. For instance, my toddler is getting more and more picky when it comes to food and what she wants to wear, so I will often select two outfits I want her to wear then ask her which one she wants. She’s very happy when she gets to wear what she picks out.

2. Appeal to her emotions. Though this one does not work as frequently as I would like, it is a good way to get her to develop a sense of empathy. Those times when she yells out no, simply ignores me or refuses to do what I am asking, such as putting away her toys after playing with them, I will tell her how happy it makes me when she follows directions and that I like it when she listens. I will usually put on my sad face so that she can see that I am clearly disappointed that she is not doing what she was told to do.

3. Positive Reinforcement. I make sure to, not overly praise but acknowledge when she listens and does not put up a fuss the first time I ask her to do something. For example, Quinn has a Dora the Explorer electric toothbrush she loves using. She loves it so much that she will say, “no” and run away when it is time to stop brushing her teeth. Whenever she hands over the toothbrush willingly, I let her know that I like how she follows directions.

4. Make the Connection Between Actions and Consequences. I’ve learned that I can’t be all talk and no action. If my little girl keeps saying no, such as refusing to leave a park or play area, I will give her a warning, countdown and then simply deal with her tantrum as I carry her off explaining that she must listen. Usually, there is no appealing to her emotions when it gets to this stage, but I do not want her to think she can get her way by simply saying, “no!”

5. Realize that your “no-gotiator” may be more persistent than you think, and consider if the battle is worth it. Getting my little girl to try new healthy foods is becoming a struggle. Just the other day, she cried hysterically and refused to eat her veggie pasta. There was no negotiating with her. She would not eat even one bite: even after offering her a special treat if she did. Having her sit at the table and cry hysterically beyond a half hour did not help either of us, but after she calmed down, I did appeal to her emotions in hopes that she will try something new in the future.

When all else fails, try to relax. As Daniel Tiger says, “When you’re feeling mad, and you want to roar, take a deep breath, and count to four!”

All the best,

Tanya

P.S. Another tip is that nothing works 100 percent of the time, and I’ve learned not to beat myself up too much when my little “no-gotiator” is unwilling to compromise. If you have any other tips, please feel free to share.

Everybody Needs Friends: Even Toddlers

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Quinn with Her Friends

My daughter just loves having her picture taken with all of her “friends” sitting on the steps together. After everyone is perfectly arranged, she says, “Picture please! Picture with friends please!” I chuckle to myself and eagerly grab the camera to honor her request, especially now that she occasionally gets persnickety when I want to take her picture. Actually, she is not having her picture taken with actual people but her stuffed animals and dolls who she refers to as friends. Though my two year old does not go to daycare to interact on a regular basis with children her age, in observing her at The Little Gym during our weekly mommy and child session, she is often friendly and will say hello to the other children without me asking her to do so. She also loves spending time with her eight year old cousin and will ask just about every morning if she will see her today. When we go to the park, her smile widens as she sees other children, and she will wave at them excitedly. We do occasional have play dates so that she can have friends beyond her stuffed animals, but I would love to find more ways to give Quinn the opportunity to interact with other children since she may not be in day school until she is three. Having a child has conjured up my own childhood memories; I recall longing to make friends through most of my childhood and how there were times that I felt alone even in a classroom. I know she is only two and still getting to know the world and herself, but I want to do everything in my power to make sure she has friends. Having friends can provide comfort and a support system among many other benefits. We all need them: even toddlers!

All the best,

Tanya

One, Two, Three: Red Light! Green Light! Teaching My Toddler Traffic Rules

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Quinn Excited to Take Her Car for a Drive

Quinn Excited to Take Her Car for a Drive

 “Mommy, the light’s green. We go!” is what my two year old daughter excitedly informs me of as we patiently wait  at the crosswalk to continue on with our morning stroller jog. I’m amazed at how she has made the association with green meaning go and red meaning stop a few months ago, shortly before her second birthday. I started taking Quinn on stroller jogs and brisk walks when she was a little under a month old, and there is a phrase I say whenever we get to an intersection and are about to cross the street, “Look both ways, and listen for cars before we cross the street.” If we are walking down the street, I will utter the same phrase in hopes that she will retain it as she gets older and follows it when she is not in my presence.

Now that she’s getting older and bolder and willing to take even more risks, it pleases me to know that she does comprehend the importance of following some traffic rules as a pedestrian. Though I must occasionally admonish her for sneaking down the steps or scurrying up the street after I asked her to wait, I cannot help but smile when she says, “Look both ways Mommy!” “We wait. The light’s red,” or ” I hold mommy’s hand. Now, we cross the street.” For me, this is a perfect example of how children model the behaviors of adults, so I must be extra vigilant in following the traffic rules myself. Presently, Quinn’s car seat is still rear-facing, but I have a feeling that I will have a back seat driver really soon letting me know when the light is green yelling out, “The light’s green! We go now Mommy!”

All the best,

Tanya

A Happy Day for a Toddler and Her Daddy

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Quinn and Her Daddy

Quinn and Her Daddy

 “My daddy’s gone!” is what my two year old daughter frantically exclaims whenever he leaves the room, goes to work or just is not in her presence. She just loves following him everywhere. That phrase, “My daddy’s gone” and the way Quinn says it, as though he is missing and possibly gone forever, makes me feel so grateful and blessed that she has such a strong bond with her father and loves spending time with him. It warms my heart to have her request  that we meet him at the train station when he gets off work in her Little Tikes car or trike. While today may be Father’s Day, Quinn already understands the significance of showing her daddy how much she loves him year round. Here’s to my awesome husband who is a wonderful father to our daughter and to all of the dads celebrating fatherhood on this special day. 

All the best,

Tanya

Telling Time with a Toddler

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Quinn Playing with the Clock at the Park

Quinn Playing with the Clock at the Park

How would you like it if you were somewhere having the time of your life and thoroughly enjoying yourself to have someone come and tell you without warning, “That’s it! It’s time to go!” I’m sure would not be happy and may even be a bit irritated that you are being told that you have to leave when you are having such a good time, and it never was established what time you would have to leave. I never gave this much thought until one day when my two year-old daughter and I were at the park, and I turned to her and said, “Okay, honey it’s time to go.” Her response, understandably, was to whine and cry, shouting, “No! We stay at park!.” Realizing that I did not give her a warning, I felt bad and decided to give in allowing her to stay a little longer. Then an idea, which should have been obvious, came to me: why not let her know in advance when we will be leaving? There are some studies I have come across that state toddlers may not understand the concept of time, but from my observation with my daughter, I would say some do. Since Quinn was one, she’s always had a fascination with clocks and watches and will point them out when she sees them. My husband and I even got her a watch for her second birthday as one of her gifts. No, she cannot tell time yet, but she does know how to count, so I will set my stopwatch and let her know when we have fifteen minutes remaining, and when we get to ten minutes, we will count down together, and she will repeat after me, “Seven minutes Mommy!” Counting down has been working like a charm; the crying and tantrums have been cut down drastically. We use it at the park, in her playroom when we are in the store so that she is more patient when I am shopping (This is great because it forces me to get in and out and not dilly-dally too much myself), and anywhere else or with anything else where a countdown can be beneficial to help the transition from one activity to the next go smoothly. Now, Quinn will even initiate the countdown and say, “Mommy, I play with iPad for five more minutes please.” While I am sure this is used in childcare centers and day schools, sometimes parents do not implement these simple techniques in the home because it just never occurred to them. If you have a toddler or child who gets upset when it is time to leave, when it is time for an activity he or she is enjoying to end or even time for an activity to begin, such as nap time or bed time, give this a try! It is not 100 proof, but it most certainly works more often than not.

All the best,

Tanya