Tag Archives: Tanya Harris Franklin

Big Mommy’s Watching!

By
Quinn Staring Down and Fiddling with the Drop Cam

Quinn Staring Down and Fiddling with the Drop Cam

Who hasn’t heard the phrase, “Big brother’s watching” or has a mother, grandmother or aunt like mine who was “watching” too? My mom frequently told my sister and I as we entered pre-adolescence into teenage hood, “I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere, so don’t think you’re slick or that you’re getting away with anything!” Though my little girl is only two, she already is not keen on the idea of  big brother or “her mommy” watching when she’s being sneaky or simply wants to be left alone. When Quinn was about six months, I posted a blog entry entitled, “Baby Got the “Drop” on Me,”  about how wonderful Dropcam is because it captured moments I might otherwise miss, like the first time my daughter stood up in her crib, while allowing me to check in on my daughter while she was sleeping to make sure she was okay. A few months ago, when my daughter realized “something” or “someone” was watching her (Dropcam has an infrared setting, and little red lights display around the eye of the camera) she started watching back: trying to figure out what or who it was. The camera was affixed at the corner edge of her crib, so she was able to get so close on the camera and look directly at it. I chuckled to myself because it somewhat reminded me of the movie “The Truman Show” when Jim Carey’s character, Truman Burbank, discovered that he was being watched and filmed. For about a month, Quinn would just stare at the camera when she awakened from her sleep. Dropcam has a feature that allows you to communicate with the person on the other end of the camera through a smart phone or iPad, so I began to use it to keep her relaxed until I came into the room if she was jumping up and down or beginning to through her blanket or favorite friend Grover from her crib. Instead of relaxing her, it piqued her interest even more. Though she knew it was my voice, she would stand there with this pensive look on her face trying to figure out how I knew what she was doing. A few weeks ago, Quinn decided she was going to take action. She grabbed the camera and began to say, “Hi” more like an inquiry than a statement. When she did not get the response she wanted, the camera was quickly tossed aside in her crib, and she managed to disconnect the cable. Since then, I ordered a longer cable cord so that I could move the location of the camera to somewhere more inconspicuous so that she does not notice it “watching her.” Though I want to keep an eye on her and make sure she is safe, especially considering that she will soon be transitioning to a toddler bed, even toddlers want a little privacy, so the least I can do is give her the impression that she has it.

Quinn Showing the Dropcam What She Thinks of It

Quinn Showing the Dropcam What She Thinks of It

All the best,

Tanya

Life Lessons from My Little Girl at the Park #3

By
Quinn Ready to Show Her Gymnastic Skills

Quinn Ready to Show Her Gymnastic Skills

When I was younger, I loved going to the park and could spend hours upon hours there begging my mom for more time on the swing or teeter totter. Now, it’s my two year old daughter who pleads, “Five more minutes Mommy, please,” putting up her little hand displaying her five fingers. Occasionally, I give in, and in return, my daughter often teaches me a life lesson at the park. My past two blog entries this week have been about crossing bridges and the power of the slide. Today, it’s all about having fun with the equipment you’ve been given, endurance, and putting those fears aside.

One day, months before Quinn’s second birthday, she prepared to go down the slide but then stopped and observed the metal bar a little above her head. It must have reminded her of the bars she uses at The Little Gym because she quickly grabbed hold of it with both hands and began to swing. My heart began to race. While I was amazed at how well she was holding on (even better than she does at The Little Gym which has protective mats), I was nervous that she would either realize the riskiness of her “gymnastic routine” and get scared or lose her grip and hurt herself. Rather than tell her to stop in a panicky voice, I just stood as close as possible and softly told her to be careful, and she confidently said, “I be careful Mommy.” She squealed with excitement awaiting my applause, which I, of course, granted her as the fear in my heart turned into pleasure.  If only more adults, including me, could be more like my daughter: having fun with the obstacles put in front us, casting our fears aside and just going for it!

All the best,

Tanya

Life Lessons from My Little Girl at the Park #2

By
Quinn Walking Down the Slide

Quinn Walking Down the Slide

At least four to five times a week during the summer, my two year old daughter and I go to the park, and at least four to five out of these times we visit the park, I learn a life lesson from her. Yesterday, I posted a blog entry on the bravery it takes to cross bridges. Today, it’s all about the power of the sliding board, which my little girl enjoys. Sometimes she zips down quickly. Other times she purposely inches down little by little, trying to make the trip down the slide last as long as possible. Lately, she takes pleasure in being a dare devil: walking down or up the slide and sneakily trying to slide head first if I don’t stop her first. As I told her one day, “Quinn, slide down the right way. You’re not supposed to walk on the sliding board,” the memory of me  having fun, walking up a sliding board immediately flashed in my mind. How dare I deny my child her fun? Is it always about following the rules or using something solely for its initial purpose. Climbing up the slide instead of taking the stairs might seem like merely a shortcut, but it forces her to exert herself more as the incline, slippery slide and gravity are the forces pulling her down as she tries with all of her might to go up. There are times when the slide of life or what appears to be fate is pulling me in a certain direction. As most people will say just go with it and slide on down, I still have choice. When I looked at Quinn’s face as she made it back up the slide, I saw her sense of accomplishment which far outweighs the joy she gets from actually going down the slide. Who knew such a big lesson could come from my little girl? Thanks so much sweetheart! I hope others will benefit from your lesson.

All the best,

Tanya

Life Lessons from My Little Girl at the Park #1

By
Quinn Crossing the Bridge All By Herself

Quinn Crossing the Bridge All By Herself

Most children love going to the park, and my little girl is no different. She enjoys running, jumping and playing on the different equipment, and I love seeing how motivated and determined she is when facing any obstacle. In simply observing her, it occurred to me that while she’s having fun (of course I have fun interacting with her too), she is learning and teaching me quite a few life lessons. One of the parks we go to has a bridge. When Quinn initially came across it, she was hesitant, possibly because it seemed long to her or was a little shaky. She asked me to go across with her and to hold my hand, but about midway across she eagerly wiggled her fingers out of my grasp and went the rest of her way by herself, excitedly saying, “I cross the bridge Mommy!” I was probably more nervous than her but so proud of my brave little girl, who wasn’t quite two at the time, for not letting the obstacle of the bridge intimidate her and stop her from getting to the other side. Since then she prefers to go across without my assistance, but if she observes another child, usually older, jumping and shaking the bridge, she has enough common sense to wait until it is safe. When I think about the obstacles I’ve faced in life, there have been many occasions when I faced a bridge I needed to cross to reap the benefits of what was in store for me on the other side, but there were times when I allowed the bridge and the thought of its instability to intimidate me, making it take longer than I would have liked to cross it. Quinn has taught me that being brave enough to cross that bridge sometimes requires a support system to get us started. While she wanted to cross the bridge, she felt more comfortable knowing that I was there with her. Oftentimes, adults, including me, feel that they must do it all by themselves and think relying on support is a sign of weakness, but I have learned from my little girl that as long as the support can get me started, it will be my own determination and bravery that allows me make it across.

All the best,

Tanya

Time for the Big Girl Table! My Little Girl is Growing up!

By
Quinn Enjoying Her Big Girl Table

                                Quinn Enjoying Her Big Girl Table

Alas, I knew this day would come. I even prepared for it by purchasing a Kid Kraft table with chairs that resembles my own dining room set as one of the gifts when my little girl turned two so that she feels like a big girl. While some children want to sit at the big table because their older siblings do or it is the way it is done at daycare, my little two year old is an only child who is not in day care, so she was content with sitting in her high chair until I introduced her very own table and chairs set. While sitting at the table may not seem like a big deal to her, outside of the joy she gets from looking out of the window, it is to me. My little girl is no longer a baby, and while I want the best for Quinn and am wiling to do what is necessary to promote her independence and development, part of me misses my baby. Though I now can get a couple of tasks done while she is eating, I actually miss making silly faces at her to get her to eat and assisting her with holding the spoon to get those sweet potatoes or mashed bananas into her mouth. Of course, it is wonderful that she now can feed herself and eagerly runs to her table for breakfast, lunch or dinner, but my little girl is growing up so fast leaving me wondering where the time went. Before I know it she’ll be moving from the “big girl” table to the actual dining room table. It’s amazing how one milestone is able to make me not only appreciate the time I have with my daughter but be excited with how well she is progressing into toddlerhood. Here’s to many more milestones to come!

All the best,

Tanya

Quinn Sitting Across from the Dining Room Table

Quinn Sitting Across from the Dining Room Table

One of My Toddler’s Favorite Activities

By
Quinn Using her "My Activity Calendar"

Quinn Using her “My Daily Calendar”

“We go to Sesame Place on Saturday! We go tomorrow!” my two year old giddily tells her older cousin. Her cousin then came to me, “Auntie, are you really going to Sesame Place tomorrow?” I smiled with pleasure and said, “Yes, Quinn’s right! We’re going tomorrow.” My smile was in part because of the joy Quinn gets from going to Sesame Place but also because the resource I purchased for her a little over a month ago to further grasp the concept of time, days of the week, seasons, etc. is really working.

Since Quinn is not in day school, she does not have circle time where the teacher usually goes over the day of the week, weather, activities of the day, and so on. So I knew I needed to do something so that my little girl would be on target, not just for school but so that she can have the vocabulary to further articulate herself. As soon as we enter her playroom, she’ll immediately runs over to the her “My Daily Calendar”board, created by Melissa and Doug. One section she loves is the face to indicate her mood. Sometimes she will put the happy face in the board and say, “Today, I’m happy.” Or she will put on the face that has a tongue sticking out and say, “Today, I feel silly!” Sliding the arrow up and down to indicate the temperature is another task she enjoys, and of course going over our activities for the day is another. This section also forces me to follow through with our activities. For example, if I say we are going to the park and display it under activities, I better make sure we get to the park because I’ll never hear the end of it. “We go to park, today! It’s Wednesday. We go to the park!” Quinn says until we get there. The only issue I have with the activity board is that I did not purchase it sooner through Amazon. If you are looking for a way to not only teach your child the days of the week, month, to discuss his or her feelings, the weather, etc., this is perfect!
All the best,
Tanya
Here’s a video of Quinn using her “My Daily Calendar.”

The No-Gotiator:  How to Get a Toddler to Compromise

By
2015-05-30 12.25.19

Quinn “the no-gotiator” refusing to leaving Sesame Place

Imagine if someone was holding your precious little girl captive and refused to release her. Would you panic, grow frantic and do whatever it takes to get your child back? This is a position I am occasionally in when my two year old is in full-fledged “no” mode. I want to plead with her, “Please, bring back my sweet little girl who eagerly does what mommy says!” Sometimes, the “no’s” start as soon as she wakes up. She calls out for me, “Mommy, Mommy, Momma, Mom!?” I come in her room to comfort and pick her up, and she hurriedly goes to the other end of her crib, shaking her head no, with a smirk on her face, when I try to pick her up. It turns into a production for as Quinn continues to challenge me with her emphatic “No’s,” as I cajole her to put on her clothes for the day, to have breakfast, sit on the potty, you name it! Through my ongoing battles with my little “no-gotiator,” I have began to compile different methods that actually work, more times than not, and figured I share them with other parents and guardians who are struggling with toddlers whose favorite word is “No! These tips are in “no” special order:

1. Give your little “no-gotiator” the impression that she has a choice. For instance, my toddler is getting more and more picky when it comes to food and what she wants to wear, so I will often select two outfits I want her to wear then ask her which one she wants. She’s very happy when she gets to wear what she picks out.

2. Appeal to her emotions. Though this one does not work as frequently as I would like, it is a good way to get her to develop a sense of empathy. Those times when she yells out no, simply ignores me or refuses to do what I am asking, such as putting away her toys after playing with them, I will tell her how happy it makes me when she follows directions and that I like it when she listens. I will usually put on my sad face so that she can see that I am clearly disappointed that she is not doing what she was told to do.

3. Positive Reinforcement. I make sure to, not overly praise but acknowledge when she listens and does not put up a fuss the first time I ask her to do something. For example, Quinn has a Dora the Explorer electric toothbrush she loves using. She loves it so much that she will say, “no” and run away when it is time to stop brushing her teeth. Whenever she hands over the toothbrush willingly, I let her know that I like how she follows directions.

4. Make the Connection Between Actions and Consequences. I’ve learned that I can’t be all talk and no action. If my little girl keeps saying no, such as refusing to leave a park or play area, I will give her a warning, countdown and then simply deal with her tantrum as I carry her off explaining that she must listen. Usually, there is no appealing to her emotions when it gets to this stage, but I do not want her to think she can get her way by simply saying, “no!”

5. Realize that your “no-gotiator” may be more persistent than you think, and consider if the battle is worth it. Getting my little girl to try new healthy foods is becoming a struggle. Just the other day, she cried hysterically and refused to eat her veggie pasta. There was no negotiating with her. She would not eat even one bite: even after offering her a special treat if she did. Having her sit at the table and cry hysterically beyond a half hour did not help either of us, but after she calmed down, I did appeal to her emotions in hopes that she will try something new in the future.

When all else fails, try to relax. As Daniel Tiger says, “When you’re feeling mad, and you want to roar, take a deep breath, and count to four!”

All the best,

Tanya

P.S. Another tip is that nothing works 100 percent of the time, and I’ve learned not to beat myself up too much when my little “no-gotiator” is unwilling to compromise. If you have any other tips, please feel free to share.

Telling Time with a Toddler

By
Quinn Playing with the Clock at the Park

Quinn Playing with the Clock at the Park

How would you like it if you were somewhere having the time of your life and thoroughly enjoying yourself to have someone come and tell you without warning, “That’s it! It’s time to go!” I’m sure would not be happy and may even be a bit irritated that you are being told that you have to leave when you are having such a good time, and it never was established what time you would have to leave. I never gave this much thought until one day when my two year-old daughter and I were at the park, and I turned to her and said, “Okay, honey it’s time to go.” Her response, understandably, was to whine and cry, shouting, “No! We stay at park!.” Realizing that I did not give her a warning, I felt bad and decided to give in allowing her to stay a little longer. Then an idea, which should have been obvious, came to me: why not let her know in advance when we will be leaving? There are some studies I have come across that state toddlers may not understand the concept of time, but from my observation with my daughter, I would say some do. Since Quinn was one, she’s always had a fascination with clocks and watches and will point them out when she sees them. My husband and I even got her a watch for her second birthday as one of her gifts. No, she cannot tell time yet, but she does know how to count, so I will set my stopwatch and let her know when we have fifteen minutes remaining, and when we get to ten minutes, we will count down together, and she will repeat after me, “Seven minutes Mommy!” Counting down has been working like a charm; the crying and tantrums have been cut down drastically. We use it at the park, in her playroom when we are in the store so that she is more patient when I am shopping (This is great because it forces me to get in and out and not dilly-dally too much myself), and anywhere else or with anything else where a countdown can be beneficial to help the transition from one activity to the next go smoothly. Now, Quinn will even initiate the countdown and say, “Mommy, I play with iPad for five more minutes please.” While I am sure this is used in childcare centers and day schools, sometimes parents do not implement these simple techniques in the home because it just never occurred to them. If you have a toddler or child who gets upset when it is time to leave, when it is time for an activity he or she is enjoying to end or even time for an activity to begin, such as nap time or bed time, give this a try! It is not 100 proof, but it most certainly works more often than not.

All the best,

Tanya

It’s a Real Zoo Out There! Fun Activities for Toddlers

By
Quinn and the Lion

Quinn and the Lion

My little two year old has always been fascinated with animals. She loves to mimic their sounds and look at pictures of them, so of course one of her favorite outings is going to the zoo. What a wonderful way for her to learn and even develop her vocabulary by telling me what she sees and for me to engage her even further by asking questions and telling her what I see too. Since the weather has been nice, we’ve been able to take advantage of our membership to the Philadelphia Zoo and visit once and sometimes twice a week for the past few months. While one may think going to the zoo this frequently would become boring, it does not because it just one more way for me to not only bond with my little girl but to observe how much she has learned and grown. I am amazed at how she is able to retain the names of the animals and some of the little facts we have learned along the way. For instance, initially she said, “I see turtle,” but when I explained that he was a tortoise, the next time we went to the zoo, she said, “I see tortoise.” She knows the difference between a lion and a tiger, but thought a cheetah was a tiger until I gave her the name of the animal and discussed how one has stripes and the other has spots. Now she gets excited and points out the cheetah. I just love how she greets each animal bellowing out, “Hello Lion!” or “Hello Sheep!” Sometimes it’s as though they have been waiting for her because the lion or polar bear will be resting or sleep, but after she says hello, they will come closer to where she is standing. If you haven’t taken your child to the zoo as yet, I highly recommend it. A wonderful adventure awaits!

All the best,

Tanya

Little Girl, Little Girl, What Do You See? A Beginner Book Just for You!

By

Brown BearThough my daughter is only two, I am so pleased that she loves reading and flipping through the pages of books. I get so excited when I come across children’s books that not only teach my little girl a skill but that she looks forward to reading. One of the books I have been reading to her since she was just a couple of days old is the classic Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? (Slide and Find) by Bill Martin and illustrated by Eric Carle  which is a wonderful book that grows with the child. Initially, Quinn would just follow along with her eyes as I read to her and gradually began doing the slide and find to reveal what colorful animal is next to see. By the time she was a year and a half, she was able to identify all of the animals, and before her second birthday she started associating the color with the animal. (Observing her do this has been so rewarding because grasping the concept of colors is no easy task, as I stated in my previous post: 50 Shades: The Complexities of Learning Colors Toddler Style) I can appreciate that all of the animals are not typical colors, such as the purple cat and blue horse as this stimulates my daughter’s imagination. If you are looking for a book to teach your child about colors, animals, patterns and more, definitely consider picking this one off the shelf.

All the best,

Tanya