I’m a Mommyholic: Help Me Help My Toddler

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Quinn feeding herself with no help from Mommy

Quinn feeding herself with no help from Mommy

Hello, my name is Tanya, and I am a mommyholic. With each passing day, more of my world revolves around my adventurous and inquisitive 21 month old little girl, and as each day passes, I wonder if I am doing what is in the best interest of my daughter and her development.  For the past few months, I have been grappling with my latest transgression: overly helping my little girl, who expresses her independence in countless ways, do tasks without giving her a chance to show me what she may already be capable of doing. Of course, all children are not the same, but I am wondering how most parents are able to take a step back and let their young toddlers experiment, learn, maybe even be unsuccessful at a task but try again.

For instance, when Quinn is doing a puzzle, I cannot resist wanting to direct her or even turn a piece around or point out where it goes. Now, she wants to feed herself all the time with a fork or spoon, which is great, but there are instances when she gets nothing on the fork or spoon, and I have the urge to help her, which she is not always happy about. Sometimes, she’ll give me the “let me do it myself mommy!” look, and I feel so bad that I did not give her enough time to try on her own.

Maybe it is that I teach professionally, and it is my natural inclination to help. Perhaps I just do not like seeing the frustration on my daughter’s face if she cannot figure something out. Something new I’ve been doing is actually counting in my head to make sure I am giving her adequate time and even asking her if she needs help. This works sometimes, but she’s at that age where she will sometimes ask for help but not always. How do I know when she needs my help or needs me to back off? I have a feeling that this is a question that will resurface over and over throughout Quinn’s childhood and even into adulthood. If you have any techniques, please feel free to share.

All the best,

Tanya

My “Toddler” Valentine!

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Though I enjoy spreading love year round, I love the concept of Valentine’s Day. Most people focus on the romance of the holiday. While I enjoy this aspect, I take pleasure in doing a little something extra to let those who are close to me know how much I love and appreciate them. My little girl most certainly is one of my special valentines. Though yesterday evening was an outing for her daddy and me, the day time was loads of fun with my 21 month old Quinn.

She already shows how much she loves me in so many different ways. She’s so excited to see me and will give me a big hug and kiss and is even beginning to display signs of empathy and that she cares about my well-being. I look forward to the day when she will utter those words, “I love you mommy!.”

Quinn with her heart shaped French toast and scrambled eggs.

Quinn with her heart shaped French toast and scrambled eggs.

 

Blue is the New Red: Move Over Elmo! It’s Super Grover to the Rescue!

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Quinn with Her Best Friend Grover

Who’s red, furry and loves you? Elmo, that’s who! What toddler or preschooler who has watched or is familiar with Sesame Street does not know who Elmo is? When I was a little girl, Elmo was not a member of Sesame Street. My favorite characters were Big Bird, Ernie and Bert, Cookie Monster and Oscar the Grouch. Now, most of these characters have been pushed aside while Elmo has stolen the limelight. Since my little girl started watching Sesame Street and even visited Sesame Place a few times, I figured I’d have to face reality; my little girl would follow the masses and prefer Elmo too.

Actually, this is not the case at all. When it is time for a nap or to go to sleep, Quinn will ask for Grover instead of Elmo. Even when we play with the plush Sesame Street characters, she prefers Grover or Cookie Monster. Though she will happily play with Elmo, if Grover is available, she will immediately put Elmo down to grab Grover. Of course, she does not know that Elmo is typically the favorite of most young children, but it puts a smile on my face that she actually prefers the characters who are not as popular. Quinn has some time before she is in grade school; nevertheless, I hope this is an indication of how she will make friends. Instead of automatically wanting to befriend who’s most popular, be friends with those whom she genuinely likes and has built a bond with.

All the best,

Tanya

Mommy’s Little Snow Angel

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It’s that time of the year again: snow, snow and more snow! As a child, I loved the snow: building snowmen, going sledding, making snow angels, having snowball fights…you name it! While most adults complain about the snow and how much of a nuisance it can be, which I completely understand, I am truly looking forward to having fun with my little one in the snow. This past week, we got some snow, and my 20 month old just kept saying, “Snow, snow!” with a big smile on her face. We went outside the shovel the path, and she was eager to be my helper with a shovel that was taller than she is. Initially, she kept taking off her mittens, and I kept putting them back on to keep her hands warm, then it occurred to me that she had never touched snow before, and she probably just wanted the experience. Her little face lit up as she sifted the snow through her fingers yelling out, “Snow!” Though it was cold that day, It truly warmed my heart to know that my little snow angel still has so many more “first moments” to experience.

All the best,

Tanya

Go to Sleep, Go to Sleep, Go to Sleep My Sweet Toddler!

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Quinn Wide Awake

Quinn Wide Awake at 4:45 am

Many parents struggle with getting their babies to sleep through the night, but my husband and I were the lucky ones who had our little girl sleeping through the night by the time she was four months old. We developed a schedule that has been working for a good while. She would consistently have her bath around 7:00 pm, get her bed time story around 7:20 pm and be in bed no later than 7:45 pm. In the morning, she would wake up anywhere between 6:00 am to 7:00 am. A couple of months ago, Quinn actually started sleeping in until around 7:30 am, sometimes 7:45 am. However, most recently, my 20 month old’s sleep habits changed. She went from sleeping in to waking up even earlier. Lately, at bed time, she’s very alert, ready to play and is certainly not eager to go to sleep. She will fuss about it some and eventually doze off maybe 15 minutes to a half hour later. In the morning, she has been waking up around 5:00 am, sometimes earlier. Though she is usually content and will remain calm in her crib until around 6:00 am (I watch her on our dropcam), I wonder if this change is attributed to her getting older and a reminder to me that my little girl isn’t a baby any more.

Any thoughts? Suggestions for getting my little girl to sleep back to sleeping in until 7:00 am? I’ll take 6:30 am!

All the best,

Tanya

Ready for Your Close-up Baby?

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Quinn Ready for Her Close-up

Quinn Ready for Her Close-up

There is a possibility that my 20 month old little girl has had more photos taken of her than the average person does in a lifetime. Yes, I am guilty of being one of those gushing parents who doesn’t want to miss a moment and refuses to let any chance for a photo opportunity pass them by. Actually, for the first year of Quinn’s life, she had an average of five pictures taken a day just to have a record of how quickly she was growing. Within the past couple of months, Quinn has been taking selfies and has become intrigued by the camera. She now likes posing for pictures and will eagerly say, “Cheese!” On some occasions, she will get as close up on the camera as possible to either smile or grab the lens as if she is saying, “No more pictures please!” Is there such a thing as taking too many pictures of the precious little girl you love so much who is constantly growing? I know some people say they do not waste their time taking pictures because they are too busy enjoying the moments, but she’s growing up so quickly, and I just want to capture those moments and enjoy having photos to accompany those fleeting moments which will one day be distant memories.

All the best,

Tanya

Let’s Hit the Gym Baby!

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Quinn Having Some Exercise Fun

Quinn Having Some Exercise Fun

At the start of every new year, gyms near and far can count on a serious surge of new members looking to get in shape. While some people are looking to lose weight, others just want to get moving because it helps with endurance and one’s quality of life. This rings true not just for adults but for children as well. When my little girl was just two months, we started doing the “Happy Baby Workout” to not only assist me with getting back my pre-mommy figure back but for us to develop a bond. As soon as she was old enough, at around nine months, we enrolled in mommy and me classes at “The Little Gym” and have consistently enrolled in a weekly class for a little over a year now. Quinn absolutely loves it, and I love watching her walk across the balance beam, with my help of course, and attempt to do the forward rolls at home that she practiced in class along with climbing and crawling through obstacle courses.   Perhaps your new year’s resolution on behalf of your young child is to get him or her moving or to have some time together to bond as parent and child. I would highly recommend this company to anyone, especially those who would like their toddlers to interact with other toddlers if they are not in day care like Quinn.

Best regards,

Tanya

Mommy’s Going to Work it Out Baby!

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This post was originally on my Journey of Anonomz blog, but I decided to repost it through Mommy’s Baby Steps for those new moms trying to get in shape for the new year.

All the best,

Tanya

Tanya H. Franklin's avatarJourney of Anonomz

Tanya H. Franklin & Quinn Franklin doing Happy Baby Workout Happy Baby Workout: Lunges

In my previous post highlighting some tips and information that has been helping me as a new mother, I mentioned finding ways to exercise to get back that pre-pregnancy body or to get in even better shape.  I am almost 5 foot 11 inches, and my pre-pregnancy weight was 155 pounds.  I gained about 35 pounds and have since lost 22 pounds.  I am grateful that I can fit back into most of my summer clothes, but that “jelly belly” was left behind and needs to get toned.   Though baby Quinn and I go for walks and even light jogs most recently with me pushing her in the stroller (she will be eight weeks tomorrow), we’ve been experiencing a lot of hot and humid weather and thunderstorms where I reside, right outside of Philadelphia, PA. This makes it difficult to always go outside. Also, I…

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What’s Eating You Baby?

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Quinn Eating Her Grilled Cheese Sandwich With Baby Spinach and Tomato

Quinn Eating Her Grilled Cheese Sandwich with Baby Spinach and Tomato

A few of months ago, I had a conversation with a mother of a two and a half year old, and she was sharing with me how her little boy has become such a picky eater. Getting him to eat any “healthy” food choices, outside of certain fruits, has been an ongoing battle. It was then that I knew my days were numbered with my little girl’s (who just turned 20 months yesterday) willingness to eat new and healthy foods. Within the past month, she has become more vocal, saying, “No,” shaking her head, shoving the spoon or fork away if my husband or try to feed her or even putting her hand over her mouth to show her disdain for certain food choices. Sometimes, she convinces me that she is just not hungry, but then my husband may have something “not so healthy” in addition to our meal for dinner, and Quinn will cozy up to him as sweet as can be and say, “Please.”

On one hand, I am excited that Quinn is becoming her own person and standing her ground, but on the other hand, I want to ensure that she is receiving the proper nutrients. Fruits are no problem, but veggies are getting tricky. So I’ve been getting clever with her meals. One of her favorites (I hope it stays this way) is grilled cheese with baby spinach and tomatoes. Another is mac and cheese with added broccoli, which she will ask for by name.  I have a feeling that I’m going to need to compile quite a few healthy meal selections as Quinn’s taste buds change or she refuses a meal choice. If you have any healthy options that your toddler loves, please feel free to let me know.

All the best,

Tanya

Oh Christmas Tree…”Ouch” Christmas Tree!

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Quinn Examining B.G.'s Ornaments

Quinn Examining B.G.’s Ornaments

I love decorating for the holidays, especially for Christmas. Putting up the lights, garland and tree has always been a childhood favorite of mine, and I want to pass that tradition on to my little girl as well. Last year, at seven months, Quinn did not pay much attention to the tree, but this year she is fascinated with it and loves examining the ornaments. For fun, my husband and I always name our Christmas tree as though he is a part of the family. This year he is “B.G.” (short for Big Green).  Every morning, she enjoys saying, “Hi tree!” or “Hola arbol!” As sweet as this interaction is, Quinn also loves yanking off B.G.’s ornaments and will either stash them in random places or return them to her dad or me with a big grin on her face.

So we came up with a plan which was working for a little while. We convinced her that it hurts him and pretended that he was saying, “Ouch!” whenever she pulled at his ornaments. Initially, she had sympathy for B.G. and would even stroke his tree branch and say, “Sorry” or “No ouch tree!” But lately, she quickly yanks off an ornament and yells out in a high-pitch voice, “Ouch!” Then she scurries off giggling with me or my husband chasing behind her. She thinks this is hilarious, and as much as I want her to stop messing with B.G.’s ornaments, it is quite funny, and I find myself stifling my chuckle from time to time as I catch my little girl sneakily trying to take one of B.G.’s ornaments when she thinks no one is looking. Here’s to new Christmas traditions!

All the best,

Tanya