Tag Archives: Tanya Harris Franklin

Loving Math: Let’s Count Toddler Style!

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2015-08-15 12.26.45“I hate math with a passion!” some people willingly admit. Nevertheless, most people eagerly share when their child, grandchild, niece, nephew or even little cousin is capable of counting to ten or even to one hundred. For some, it’s major competition, and they love flexing those “parent-of-the year” and “my-child-is-a-genius” muscles because their two year old or even one year old is able to count. I must abashedly admit that I’m one of those parents who’s so proud of my two year old daughter.

Yes, counting is an accomplishment, but learning the concept of numbers and how to apply it with basic math, such as adding and subtracting is not easy feat. So I am extremely proud to share a milestone my toddler “the math wiz” has accomplished. Quinn has always enjoyed singing songs about numbers and will point them out during our outings in the checkout lines, in the supermarket or just walking down the street where numbers are visible. However, within the past few months she has began applying the concept of addition and subtraction. She clearly knows that one plus one equals two and that one plus one plus one is three, as she will ask for two more treats so that she can have three or one more toy so that she can have two. When she has three pieces of pineapple remaining and eats one, she will say, “Now I have two, mommy!” I’ve even observed her on occasion using her fingers to count, leaving me to wonder if it’s instinctive considering that I never suggested to her to use her fingers.

About a month ago, she went and grabbed several birthday hats from her birthday party and began to count them. In the early stages of counting items, Quinn would count some items twice or just skip over some. Also, she often would count to ten regardless of how many items were there, but this time she counted each hat just once and was confident and certain about how many were there. I was so impressed.

This makes me wonder if we are underestimating our children’s capabilities. Of course, I do not want to pressure Quinn and do not plan on having “toddler counting boot camp,” and it may be too early to tell if math will be one of her strong areas. Nevertheless, even in 2015 females are often steered away from professions dealing with math. I want my little girl to know we are counting on her to simply want to continue learning, and we will try our best to provide her with a stimulating and fun environment that helps her to love math or at least appreciate the necessity for it.

Here’s a video of Quinn counting. Enjoy 🙂

All the best,

Tanya

It’s Potty Time! 

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2015-08-01 09.01.22

Quinn Making Sure Thumper Uses the Potty

“It wasn’t until my child was three and a half that he was fully potty trained,” a mother abashedly admits. “My child was fully potty trained at 16 months,” one parent gloats. “Well, it just took a week or so to train my puppy!” one lady eagerly volunteers. Potty training is serious business in the toddler world, and when I decided to get serious about potty training my two year old, I learned that while all parents of toddlers (and puppies too) and even non-parents have opinions on the matter, the bottom line is that it’s all about knowing my child and what techniques are best for her.

Potty training for first-time parents can be like traveling to a distant land and not knowing how to navigate through it. It’s been a little over a month since I have entered this remote land, and I am proud to say that my GPS has not steered me wrong. While I can’t guarantee that the navigation system I utilized will help you reach your destination of potty training your little one, I still feel inclined to share what helped us reach that destination.
1. Look for signs. When Quinn was really, really ready, she began taking off her diaper or pull-up when she had to go. I knew this was a definite sign. She also enjoyed flushing to the toilet and would even ask to use the restroom when we went to Target or Walmart long before I started training her outside of the home.
2. Support: I made sure family, friends, caregivers and were aware that I was starting the potty training process and even asked some for advice. Also, I did not want Quinn to be confused and receive mixed signals, so my husband and I had to implement the same strategies, even it it was in our own ways. Also, my mother had to be fully aware so that she could be prepared whenever Quinn visited. Since Quinn is not at daycare, I did not need the support of many caregivers, but this is obviously important if your child is going to be successful.
3. Child’s interest: All children have different interests. Quinn loves music, certain characters and books, so I made sure to incorporate them into the potty training process. One of Quinn’s favorite potty songs and episodes is by Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. “If you have to go potty, stop and go right away! Flush, and wash and be on your way!” Quinn actually sings this song in public settings to let me or her dad know she needs to use the potty. It’s also a cute and catchy song and let’s kids know the importance of washing their hands after they go to the potty.  Also, letting her select and purchase her Minnie Mouse panties makes her feel empowered and excited about being a big girl. She wanted to hold her shopping bag containing the panties the whole time, even when I put her in her car seat.
I also purchased a couple of potty training books. One is called, “Diapers Are Not Forever,” which is great for transitioning to panties. Another book I purchased is interactive and a story about Elmo’ Potty Time. Quinn loves pushing the button for the flush sound and will often request it when she is using the potty. I also allow Quinn to let her friends (stuffed animals) use the potty. Watching her go through this process lets me know that she is comfortable and confident with all that potty training entails. She’ll often tell her stuffed animal, “Don’t forget to flush and wash your hands!”
4. Acknowledge achievements: While some people are against giving children incentives, such as stickers or a special treat, I think it depends on the child. Quinn enjoys receiving stickers and earning stars, but she does not refuse to use the potty until she gets a sticker or rely on getting a sticker each time she uses the potty. Oftentimes, a high five or me saying, “Mommy is proud of you for telling me you had to use the potty!” carries so much more weight.
5. Don’t underestimate or overestimate child’s capabilities: I am aware that Quinn is still learning, so I try not to put too much pressure on her, but I make sure to support her and give her positive reinforcement. Sometimes, she eagerly pushes down her panties to use the potty or pulls them up once she has finished, and other times she seems disinterested about the whole process, so it is up to me to step in and remain motivated. Also, I have to keep in mind that she is still learning to control her bladder, so I must use common sense and not always wait for her to tell me when she has to go. I will simply tell her, “It’s time to use the potty honey.” Now, it is becoming a routine. Quinn knows that she must use the potty when she wakes up, after meals and any other time when she feels that she has to go.
6. Keep moving forward: If there is an accident, the punishment should not be to put her back in pull-ups or a diaper. I need to let her know in a loving way that we all have accidents but that it is not okay to pee in her panties. Making her feel ashamed or embarrassed doesn’t help her or me.
7. Accountability: People often focus on the accountability of the child, but the parents, guardians and caregivers must hold themselves accountable too. It is unfair to expect a two year olds (maybe even older) to hold their bladder for a half hour or even fifteen minutes after they have told you that they have to go to the potty. If they have an accident, it is your fault, not theirs, and I think the child should be told by the parent, “Mommy or daddy should have gotten you to the potty sooner,” so that the child knows that he or she is not at fault and shouldn’t be ashamed.
8. Consistency: The same rules at home apply when Quinn and I are outside of the home. At first, I was very nervous about using regular panties on Quinn instead of a pull-up when we went on outings, but I did not want to send mixed signals. Amazingly, Quinn does an even better job letting me know when she has to go when we are outside of the home. It’s as though she knows that she may not have a change of clothes (I do keep a change with me, but I don’t share this with her) or maybe she just enjoys going out and does not want to have to go back home because she wet herself.
9. Communicate: While I’m a type “A” personality, my husband is more laid-back and casual. Initially, this did not go over well in the beginning stages of potty training Quinn, but after I made sure to effectively communicate my plan and strategies, the process went smoothly.  Usually, the main caregiver is the one who takes on the overwhelming task of potty training. It cannot only be overwhelming but place unnecessary stress on a relationship. Yes, you may have the support of your significant other, but if you do not effectively communicate the plan or strategies you would like to implement and consider the advice of your significant other, you could be dealing with some bickering and explosive arguments in addition to potty training (I’m glad I communicated before it got to that point), especially since you both may think you have all of the answers and know what’s best.
10. Seek Out Resources: A book that helped me out a great deal and that I have already recommended to quite a few friends and colleagues with toddlers ready to potty train is “Oh Crap! Potty Training” by Jamie Glowacki. Even though I already had some ideas, this book gave me the confidence I needed to implement them. It also presented “common sense” methods I did not even consider. Once I read this book, I had Quinn out of pull-ups and in panties within two days and haven’t looked back since.
I most certainly do not have all of the answers, but I am so proud of my little girl and how well she’s doing and how well her father and I are doing with keeping her on the right track with potty training. If you have any techniques or advice that may help a parent or caregiver with potty training, please feel free to share as well.
All the best,
Tanya

Night Night Crib. It’s Time for the Toddler Bed!

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Quinn Jumping Up and Down in Her Toddler Bed

Quinn Jumping Up and Down in Her Toddler Bed

“Yay! Can I bring friends my friends?” my little girl inquired with a wide smile and giggle while jumping up and down. Then, she proceeded to gather up Grover, Thumper, Violet and many other friends. This is an exciting time for Quinn yet an anxious time for her mommy and daddy. We thought we had a little longer, but now that Quinn is doing so well with potty training, we knew the time had come. Our two year old (two years and three months to be more precise) is ready to say “night night” to her crib and wake up refreshed in her toddler bed. While I love watching her grow and reach these milestones, it is an emotional time as my daughter continues to leave behind all that made her my precious little baby and embraces all that makes her a little girl with an inquisitive nature. Though I can close my eyes and reminisce about swaddling Quinn as an infant and laying her to rest in her crib, some of the memories are sadly becoming a blur, and like so many other parents, I wonder where the time went. I can easily recall posting an entry when Quinn was a little over six months and was beginning to stand up in her crib, and now she’ll be hopping in and out of her toddler bed grabbing her stuffed animals to keep her company or maybe even using the potty if she’s so inclined (I’m anxious on how that may turn out). Of course, for the first few weeks or longer we’ll keep an eye on her through our Dropcam to ensure that she is safe and not getting into any mischief if she awakes in the middle of the night and decided to get out of her bed, but I’m still a little nervous as she spends her first night in her toddler bed. I have a feeling it’s going to be one restless night, probably more for me than for Quinn.

All the best,

Tanya

Sesame Place Revealed How Brave My Niece and Daughter Can Be

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Quinn and her cousin Mackenzie in line to get on Sky Splash at Sesame Place

It was a sunny day sweeping the clouds away. We were on our way to ride the Sky Splash at Sesame Place. It was my eight year old niece and two year old daughter’s first time getting on this ride, and they enjoyed it so much that they wanted to get on a second time. After patiently waiting in line again this past Wednesday, August 18, it was our turn to get on the ride. My little girl, who made the height requirement for the ride by a smidgen, eagerly helped me to put on her life vest then told both me and my niece, “We hold on tight!” (I was impressed that she remembered what to do). We smiled as the life guard pushed our raft to help it propel down the slide, but within a matter of seconds we came to an unanticipated halt; something major went wrong. The expressions on the faces of the workers along the slide check points revealed that they were nervous and concerned but had no idea what was going on. About five minutes later, the nearest lifeguard yelled out that the water jets were not pumping out to push the raft down the slide because they had lost power. This ride, in particular, has a series of huge slides and is up high in the air, so we were stuck.

What truly impressed me was how well both my niece and daughter handled this ordeal. We even joked about how at least were not stuck on a roller coaster. Without me asking, my niece started singing the alphabet song with Quinn, probably so that she would not be nervous. Actually, both Mackenzie and Quinn were not only patient but calm and did such a wonderful job following directions. Initially, two life guards attempted to push and guide our raft to safety down the slide, but it would barely budge and was high risk. After being stationary for about fifteen minutes with several onlookers watching us from below, we were informed that the entire park had lost electricity, and they were uncertain when it would be restored since an occurrence like this rarely occurs. Then, about ten minutes later, a gentleman came walking down the slide. He was very apologetic about the incident and informed us that he would be guiding us up the slide and back to safety. I tightly held on to Quinn as we climbed up the slippery slide being careful not to fall or lose my balance as Mackenzie held the hand of our guide. No one cried, indicated that they were scared or complained about the inconvenience of the ride not working. My niece and daughter were so brave. I am amazed at how mature the both of them are becoming and so grateful that we all made it off of the slide without incident.  Though the power was off for approximately two hours, my niece and daughter both went the flow, and we still managed to have a nice and sunny day at Sesame Place.

All the best,

Tanya

P.S. We plan on going back tomorrow so that we can have our last summer hurrah before it’s time to go back to school and work. Wish us luck that everything is operational and that we have an even better time.

The Wheels on the Bus Go Round And Round: My Toddler’s First Bus Ride

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Quinn on First Bus Ride

Quinn on First Bus Ride

“The wheels on the bus go round and round…round and round…round and round. The wheels on the bus go round and round all through the town!” my little two year old sings with glee as she motions her hands to go round and round. This is one of the many songs we enjoy singing together, but it was not until last week when my mother told Quinn that she was going to take her on a bus ride that it occurred to me that Quinn hasn’t had this experience. While driving, walking and even jogging to places with Quinn has its benefits, most children like the idea of riding the train or the bus from time to time, and Quinn is no different. We live right near a train station and bus stop, so we often see them driving by, and Quinn will tell me, “See the bus Mommy!” and even starts singing the song on occasion. How could I have Quinn singing this song with such joy when she has never experienced the horn on the bus going “beep, beep beep” or the people on the bus going “up and down?” She was just so elated and repeatedly asked me when she was going on the bus all week. All of this made me feel guilty that in her two years of life she’s never been on a bus other than the stationary one at the Please Touch Museum. Granted, one of my pet peeves with buses is that there is no guarantee that there will be a place for her to sit, the bus is usually full of germs, and some people do not curb their foul language even in the presence of young children.  But I had this experience, and she should be able to have it too. We all want the best for our children and sometimes shield them in such a way that may deny them basic experiences. I am so glad that my mother stepped in and took Quinn on her first bus ride. She was so excited looking out of the window and didn’t want to get off the bus at their stop. Now, she can sing the song and relive the experience of her first bus ride again and again.

All the best,

Tanya

Big Mommy’s Watching!

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Quinn Staring Down and Fiddling with the Drop Cam

Quinn Staring Down and Fiddling with the Drop Cam

Who hasn’t heard the phrase, “Big brother’s watching” or has a mother, grandmother or aunt like mine who was “watching” too? My mom frequently told my sister and I as we entered pre-adolescence into teenage hood, “I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere, so don’t think you’re slick or that you’re getting away with anything!” Though my little girl is only two, she already is not keen on the idea of  big brother or “her mommy” watching when she’s being sneaky or simply wants to be left alone. When Quinn was about six months, I posted a blog entry entitled, “Baby Got the “Drop” on Me,”  about how wonderful Dropcam is because it captured moments I might otherwise miss, like the first time my daughter stood up in her crib, while allowing me to check in on my daughter while she was sleeping to make sure she was okay. A few months ago, when my daughter realized “something” or “someone” was watching her (Dropcam has an infrared setting, and little red lights display around the eye of the camera) she started watching back: trying to figure out what or who it was. The camera was affixed at the corner edge of her crib, so she was able to get so close on the camera and look directly at it. I chuckled to myself because it somewhat reminded me of the movie “The Truman Show” when Jim Carey’s character, Truman Burbank, discovered that he was being watched and filmed. For about a month, Quinn would just stare at the camera when she awakened from her sleep. Dropcam has a feature that allows you to communicate with the person on the other end of the camera through a smart phone or iPad, so I began to use it to keep her relaxed until I came into the room if she was jumping up and down or beginning to through her blanket or favorite friend Grover from her crib. Instead of relaxing her, it piqued her interest even more. Though she knew it was my voice, she would stand there with this pensive look on her face trying to figure out how I knew what she was doing. A few weeks ago, Quinn decided she was going to take action. She grabbed the camera and began to say, “Hi” more like an inquiry than a statement. When she did not get the response she wanted, the camera was quickly tossed aside in her crib, and she managed to disconnect the cable. Since then, I ordered a longer cable cord so that I could move the location of the camera to somewhere more inconspicuous so that she does not notice it “watching her.” Though I want to keep an eye on her and make sure she is safe, especially considering that she will soon be transitioning to a toddler bed, even toddlers want a little privacy, so the least I can do is give her the impression that she has it.

Quinn Showing the Dropcam What She Thinks of It

Quinn Showing the Dropcam What She Thinks of It

All the best,

Tanya

Life Lessons from My Little Girl at the Park #3

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Quinn Ready to Show Her Gymnastic Skills

Quinn Ready to Show Her Gymnastic Skills

When I was younger, I loved going to the park and could spend hours upon hours there begging my mom for more time on the swing or teeter totter. Now, it’s my two year old daughter who pleads, “Five more minutes Mommy, please,” putting up her little hand displaying her five fingers. Occasionally, I give in, and in return, my daughter often teaches me a life lesson at the park. My past two blog entries this week have been about crossing bridges and the power of the slide. Today, it’s all about having fun with the equipment you’ve been given, endurance, and putting those fears aside.

One day, months before Quinn’s second birthday, she prepared to go down the slide but then stopped and observed the metal bar a little above her head. It must have reminded her of the bars she uses at The Little Gym because she quickly grabbed hold of it with both hands and began to swing. My heart began to race. While I was amazed at how well she was holding on (even better than she does at The Little Gym which has protective mats), I was nervous that she would either realize the riskiness of her “gymnastic routine” and get scared or lose her grip and hurt herself. Rather than tell her to stop in a panicky voice, I just stood as close as possible and softly told her to be careful, and she confidently said, “I be careful Mommy.” She squealed with excitement awaiting my applause, which I, of course, granted her as the fear in my heart turned into pleasure.  If only more adults, including me, could be more like my daughter: having fun with the obstacles put in front us, casting our fears aside and just going for it!

All the best,

Tanya

Life Lessons from My Little Girl at the Park #2

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Quinn Walking Down the Slide

Quinn Walking Down the Slide

At least four to five times a week during the summer, my two year old daughter and I go to the park, and at least four to five out of these times we visit the park, I learn a life lesson from her. Yesterday, I posted a blog entry on the bravery it takes to cross bridges. Today, it’s all about the power of the sliding board, which my little girl enjoys. Sometimes she zips down quickly. Other times she purposely inches down little by little, trying to make the trip down the slide last as long as possible. Lately, she takes pleasure in being a dare devil: walking down or up the slide and sneakily trying to slide head first if I don’t stop her first. As I told her one day, “Quinn, slide down the right way. You’re not supposed to walk on the sliding board,” the memory of me  having fun, walking up a sliding board immediately flashed in my mind. How dare I deny my child her fun? Is it always about following the rules or using something solely for its initial purpose. Climbing up the slide instead of taking the stairs might seem like merely a shortcut, but it forces her to exert herself more as the incline, slippery slide and gravity are the forces pulling her down as she tries with all of her might to go up. There are times when the slide of life or what appears to be fate is pulling me in a certain direction. As most people will say just go with it and slide on down, I still have choice. When I looked at Quinn’s face as she made it back up the slide, I saw her sense of accomplishment which far outweighs the joy she gets from actually going down the slide. Who knew such a big lesson could come from my little girl? Thanks so much sweetheart! I hope others will benefit from your lesson.

All the best,

Tanya

Life Lessons from My Little Girl at the Park #1

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Quinn Crossing the Bridge All By Herself

Quinn Crossing the Bridge All By Herself

Most children love going to the park, and my little girl is no different. She enjoys running, jumping and playing on the different equipment, and I love seeing how motivated and determined she is when facing any obstacle. In simply observing her, it occurred to me that while she’s having fun (of course I have fun interacting with her too), she is learning and teaching me quite a few life lessons. One of the parks we go to has a bridge. When Quinn initially came across it, she was hesitant, possibly because it seemed long to her or was a little shaky. She asked me to go across with her and to hold my hand, but about midway across she eagerly wiggled her fingers out of my grasp and went the rest of her way by herself, excitedly saying, “I cross the bridge Mommy!” I was probably more nervous than her but so proud of my brave little girl, who wasn’t quite two at the time, for not letting the obstacle of the bridge intimidate her and stop her from getting to the other side. Since then she prefers to go across without my assistance, but if she observes another child, usually older, jumping and shaking the bridge, she has enough common sense to wait until it is safe. When I think about the obstacles I’ve faced in life, there have been many occasions when I faced a bridge I needed to cross to reap the benefits of what was in store for me on the other side, but there were times when I allowed the bridge and the thought of its instability to intimidate me, making it take longer than I would have liked to cross it. Quinn has taught me that being brave enough to cross that bridge sometimes requires a support system to get us started. While she wanted to cross the bridge, she felt more comfortable knowing that I was there with her. Oftentimes, adults, including me, feel that they must do it all by themselves and think relying on support is a sign of weakness, but I have learned from my little girl that as long as the support can get me started, it will be my own determination and bravery that allows me make it across.

All the best,

Tanya

Time for the Big Girl Table! My Little Girl is Growing up!

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Quinn Enjoying Her Big Girl Table

                                Quinn Enjoying Her Big Girl Table

Alas, I knew this day would come. I even prepared for it by purchasing a Kid Kraft table with chairs that resembles my own dining room set as one of the gifts when my little girl turned two so that she feels like a big girl. While some children want to sit at the big table because their older siblings do or it is the way it is done at daycare, my little two year old is an only child who is not in day care, so she was content with sitting in her high chair until I introduced her very own table and chairs set. While sitting at the table may not seem like a big deal to her, outside of the joy she gets from looking out of the window, it is to me. My little girl is no longer a baby, and while I want the best for Quinn and am wiling to do what is necessary to promote her independence and development, part of me misses my baby. Though I now can get a couple of tasks done while she is eating, I actually miss making silly faces at her to get her to eat and assisting her with holding the spoon to get those sweet potatoes or mashed bananas into her mouth. Of course, it is wonderful that she now can feed herself and eagerly runs to her table for breakfast, lunch or dinner, but my little girl is growing up so fast leaving me wondering where the time went. Before I know it she’ll be moving from the “big girl” table to the actual dining room table. It’s amazing how one milestone is able to make me not only appreciate the time I have with my daughter but be excited with how well she is progressing into toddlerhood. Here’s to many more milestones to come!

All the best,

Tanya

Quinn Sitting Across from the Dining Room Table

Quinn Sitting Across from the Dining Room Table