Author Archives: Tanya H. Franklin

Mommy’s Monday Moments: Even If I Wanted to be, I Can’t Be My Daughter’s Friend

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My Daughter with her Best Friend Grover and New Friend Zoe

“What’s wrong?” I asked my daughter as she began to scrunch up her nose and whimper a little. She fought back tears exclaiming, “My new friends left!” We were outside chatting after going out for a Mother’s Day brunch yesterday, and Quinn quickly befriended some other children with their family who were waiting to be seated. On Saturday, we went to Sesame Place, and it seemed that she would talk to any child who made eye contact with her and be so sad when they went on their merry way. “Where are they going, Mommy? Why are they leaving?”

2015-09-25 12.59.47Quinn is not in school and spends most of her time with her father and me. Even though we play games with her, do different activities and have a great time, deep down I know that she longs for more friends who are children. I posted a blog entry a few months ago about how she sets up all of her friends for “school” to take a picture together, but it’s not the same as actual friends who talk back. She has her cousins and a couple of other young children who are friends, but I am sensing that she feels lonely. I’m not looking to be my daughter’s friend because I’m her mother first, but when I see her with Grover, her best friend from Sesame Street and observe her play and interact with him, I get the feeling that she wishes he was a real person and feel sad sensing that she may be unhappy. It’s no consolation, but I got her a new friend, Zoë, from Sesame Place who is life-sized, and they both have become inseparable already. But Quinn had informed me, “Zoë is my friend, but she can’t talk and walk like you and me mommy.”

It is official. My little girl is ready for school for various reasons, and one of them is so that she may make new friends and have more social interactions with children her own age. When I asked her who are her friends, she said, “You, daddy, Nana, Auntie, Kenzie and Arya.” Most of whom are adults or much older children. Since she will not start until September, I truly am looking forward to setting up playdates throughout the course of the summer so that she feels like she has friends.

All the best,

Tanya

It’s My Third “Mommyversary!”

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Third Mommyversary
Third Mommyversary
Third Mommyversary
First Mommyversary
Second Mommyversary

Wow, it’s hard to believe that less than a week ago,I was celebrating my daughter’s third birthday, and now it’s my third anniversary as a mother. While my little girl has grown physically, and emotionally, my role as her mommy has too. Though I do still question if I’m making the best decisions for her and often pray that I am being a “good” mother, I am feeling more and more comfortable in my role as her mom. As I continue to take baby steps as her mommy, I’m not toddling as much as I did in the beginning, but every once in a while I have a misstep and may get a “metaphorical” scrape on my knee. But I’m getting better at dusting myself off, treating the scrape so that I can get back up and keep going on as her mother and role model.

Composing these blog entries about our journey together as mother and daughter is part of what helps me grow and embrace our bond. It gives me the opportunity to reflect on how far we’ve both come. I truly am grateful for the experience of motherhood because it has actually helped me to evolve into a better version of my former self not just for my daughter but for my husband, my family and friends and definitely for me as well.

Here’s to my third “mommyversary” and many more to come, and here’s to mothers everywhere celebrating motherhood. May you be recognized for all of the sacrifices, lessons, love and compassion you’ve displayed not just on this mother’s day but year round.

All the best,

Tanya

 

What Would We Do Without It Wednesdays: Learning from the Lens of My Little Girl

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Me: Consumed with Responding to Students’ Emails

“Can we do a puzzle now, Mommy?” my little girl inquires as I read and rapidly type responses to emails from students and try to read a few papers too. I assure her, “Just give me five more minutes, honey.” We’re in the last couple of weeks in the spring semester, and it’s busier than ever. My attention has become more divided between all of the work-related tasks and the attention my daughter requires and deserves. I’m surprised I was able to get all of the preparations done for her birthday party this past Saturday. Lately, five minutes turns into ten or fifteen minutes after I told her I’d be able to play with her.

Last week, while I was typing emails and even grumbling a little as I received an inquiry about something I discussed in class at length, my daughter gets my iPod from the table and starts snapping pictures like she’s a little photographer. She giggles, “I took your picture sending emails, Mommy!” I stopped what I was doing and said, “Let me take a look!” When I viewed the picture, I looked so consumed and then felt so guilty because I was physically present but mentally focused on my work, not Quinn.

She’s usually patient and is now at the age where she can enjoy her own company, but seeing the picture made me take a step back and try to figure out a new schedule for these next couple of weeks that will allow me to get my work done and not feel like I’m being inattentive towards my sweet little girl. I already wake up around 4 am to exercise and meditate, so I’ve been making a sacrifice this week to read a few more papers and emails during this time while she is sleep. While I love my job, I truly am looking forward to the summer break so that we can have even more time together with no distractions. It’s amazing what I’m learning by seeing myself through my daughter’s lens.

All the best,

Tanya

The Terrific Three: Happy Birthday to My Little, Big Girl!

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Happy 3rd Birthday!
Happy 3rd Birthday!
Happy 3rd Birthday!

On May 3rd, 2013, my life forever changed when my husband and I welcomed our little girl into the world. As I compose this 158th blog entry, today, I feel like I’m skipping along rather than taking “Mommy’s Baby Steps.” My little, big girl has grown so much, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. She truly is her own person, and though it may be raining today, she is my ray of sunshine who fills me up with energy and hope for the future. Here’s to many more birthdays, milestones and cherished moments together with my little lady, Quinn!

All the best,

Tanya

Photos by Lindsay Hamilton Photography

 

Mommy’s Monday Moments: Immortal Thoughts from a Mortal

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“What’s that say?” My little girl points to the park bench that has two separate plaques honoring loved ones who passed away. “He was our Pop Pop Al…A special storyteller…our friend…Al Kaplan.” I paused as I reached the dates corresponding with his life and death. Though I do not know this man, nor his wife Ann, who’s name was present on a separate plaque, many thoughts ran through my mind pertaining to how loved they must have been, my own mortality as well as my husband’s and even my daughter’s. The phrase, “You’re not promised tomorrow” may be trite, but it is very true. Both people lived over 80 years, which is truly a blessing because there are some people who may not even make it to eight years old or even eight days old, so I try not to take my life or the lives of others for granted.

Knowing that my daughter will be turning three tomorrow on May 3rd makes me eternally grateful. I lover her so much and have learned a great deal from her. One of those important lessons is to prioritize. While I do enjoy teaching and strive to put forth my best effort, my family is even more important to me. I’ve been blessed to have a flexible work schedule that allows me to spend more time with my daughter than the average parents do. Some people have no choice but to enroll their children into daycare when they are as young as six weeks, but my husband and I have works schedules that allow Quinn to stay at home. Watching her grow so quickly and knowing that I am a mere mortal and have no idea of how long I will be in her life or she will be in mine does make me a little contemplative, but instead of focusing on the depressing what-ifs, I thank God that we have each other right now and pray that all we’ve taught each other and the memories we have together will become immortal.

All the best,

Tanya

Simple Sundays: “Sleepovers Are Great!” Says My Little Girl

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Ready to Have a Fun Sleep Over!

I loved having sleepovers when I was younger. My daughter, who will be three in just two days, loves sleepovers too. One main difference, however, is that I had my sister, who is just 18 months older than I am, but Quinn is an only child, so having someone come to spend the night is even more special to her. A couple of months ago, I posted an entry about the close relationship my little girl has with her big cousin and how she simply adores her. Having her spend the night on Saturday into Sunday was a huge ordeal. My niece, who is actually six years older, is so good with Quinn. They had fun playing games, watching a movie and eating popcorn together and just keeping each other company. Though going somewhere can be fun, just waking up together this Sunday morning, having breakfast and playing together was enough to put smiles on both of their faces. As the saying goes, “Sometimes it’s the simple things that bring us the most happiness.”

All the best,

Tanya

What Would We Do Without It Wednesdays: Determination, Persistence and Patience

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“I did it, Mommy! Did you see me? I did it!” my little girl excitedly informs me. Whether it’s doing one of the skills of the day at The Little Gym or putting her shoes on the correct feet all by herself, I’ve proudly observed how determined, persistent and patient she can be. I often hear people remark about the most recent generations and how they do not work as hard or often want instant gratification without putting in the work, and I do not want my daughter to fall into this category.

Sometimes, my daughter, who will be three in less than a week, will grow frustrated and whine a little if she’s having difficulties putting on her shirt, doing a puzzle or building a tower after advising me that she can do it herself, but this is only natural, especially at her age. I do, however, love that regardless of how flustered she becomes, Quinn will keep on trying or realize that she may need a little help. My hope is that my daughter will continue to be determined, persistent and patient as she learns new tasks and skills because they’re not only important towards her current development, but these attributes will, in part, shape who she becomes as an adult. What would we do without these attributes?

All the best,

Tanya

 

Terrific Toy Tuesday: Learning About Cash Can Register at a Young Age

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2016-03-07 10.19.53“That’ll be five dollars, Mommy!” my daughter informs me as she presses the number five on her toy cash register. My-soon-to-be three year old loves shopping at Target and really enjoys pretending to be a cashier at home. When she was about a year and a half, I purchased her a little “Let’ Go Shopping Cash Register” from Lakeshore Learning. It comes with milk, juice, little fruits and vegetables, an area for weighing the fruit and a little basket, an even a scanner to ring up items. There’s a few coins and a little toy credit card she swipes to open the register drawer.

Cash RegisterWhat I love about this cash register is that it has multiple settings. One is for basic play, one that allows the child to add, divide, subtract and multiply, another presents questions, asking, “How many milks do you have?” or “How many strawberries are you purchasing.” It is a great toy to enhance Quinn’s vocabulary and to help her further understand the importance of a dollar. I wish I had a toy cash register this advanced when I was younger. Watching my daughter make decisions while “play” shopping and counting her change is awesome because I believe one is never too young to understand the concept of money and all that it encompasses.

All the best,

Tanya

Mommy’s Monday Moments: My Little Back Seat Driver is Moving Forward

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Waiting to Pick up Daddy at the Train Station

“The light’s green, Mommy! Let’s go” my little girl instructs me. Just a few months ago, she went from rear facing in her car seat to forward, and a whole new world opened up for her – well for me too. I used to drive along with minimal conversation from her. She might have remarked about a car or dog she saw out of her window, but now, she observes any and everything. As soon as she hops into her car seat, the chatter starts and doesn’t end until we reach our destination or she falls asleep after having fun and feeling exhausted.

“Why are you stopping? Oh, I see the light is red! The light is green. Why aren’t we going?” she inquires. A car comes near us, she will insist, “Let’s race, Mommy! Don’t let them pass us. We have to win!” I’m not too sure where she got this idea from, but it got me thinking about how just from having her seat reversed from backward to forward, she developed an eyeopening perspective.

My husband delayed turning Quinn’s seat forward, as the manufacturer and safety experts encourage people to keep them rear-facing as long as possible. He initially did not believe my theory about our daughter talking more, almost non-stop, as a result or her seat change. Then, he admitted a couple of days ago that I was right and jokingly said that he was considering turning her chair back to rear-facing because she talked his ears off and asked so many questions.

This experience really got me wondering about  how many of us are in a “rear-facing” position in life or a backward line of thinking and who are waiting to be mature enough or just bold enough to reverse our positions to forward thinking. There just may be a world out there that we didn’t even know existed because we just couldn’t see what was in front of us.

All the best,

Tanya

 

 

Simple Sunny Sunday Sayings From My Little Girl

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“Look at me, Mommy! I’m going up and down on the see-saw with no hands.” My little girl exclaimed. Then with a tickled look on her face, she said, “You can do it too Mommy! You just have to be careful and balance when we go up and down.”  Though just about everyday my soon-to-be three year old has some wisdom to bestow, on Sundays, I often reflect on what I have learned from her. As we went up and down on the see-saw, singing Quinn’s made-up song, “Let’s go up; now lets go down!” it brought out the child in me.

Later, I reflected on the ups and downs that occur in life and how I must sometimes hold on and endure the ride, and other times I must be brave enough, like my little girl, to go hands-free and let loose a little, especially when I may not have any control over the situation. Sometimes, what appears to be disconcerting to adults is just a walk in the park or ride on the see-saw to children. I’ll have to keep this in mind and maybe even apply this analogy as Quinn gets older and experiences some ups and downs.

All the best,

Tanya